The power of tear pressure
The smashed pick-up truck was delivered back to us after I burst into tears and began wailing at the recovery…
The unexpected aftermath of the BB’s car crash
The garage owner came at me with an angry expression as I pulled on to his forecourt, which was the…
Why is Westminster Cathedral leaving Jesus in the dark?
Sitting beneath the looming darkness of the unfinished ceiling of Westminster Cathedral, I found myself praying. I didn’t even know…
The last B&B guests of the season
‘Where are you off to now?’ I asked the fellow from Hong Kong as he and his wife stood in…
Did our B&B guests smell a rat?
As I was showing a couple from Lincolnshire to their room, I smelt a rat. I don’t mean metaphorically, about…
The war over my grass verges
Hanging a pair of gates at the rear of the house gave us so much satisfaction, it suddenly seemed strange…
The failed evolution of the horse
The thoroughbred looked cross, with flared nostrils and a pinched expression, so I should have known what was about to…
I’ve been won over by a herbivore
‘Data-free vegans incoming by taxi,’ I texted the builder boyfriend, to alert him to the possibility of triple trouble. Quadruple…
The folly of solar panels
The house fell silent as the last of the tourists took their oat milk and pretend cheese from the guest…
Why are vegans so philosophically confused?
The solar panel fitter was eating his fried breakfast when the talkative vegans came into the kitchen. They surveyed his…
The curse of room three
The singer sped past me out of the gate, sending me flying as I tried to say goodbye. We’ve been…
A visit from the left-whingers
The Americans wanted an argument and they weren’t going to take no, or indeed yes, for an answer. They arrived…
The anarchy of a breakfast buffet
The Portuguese guest wanted an egg, but she didn’t want it to look like an egg. She came down to…
My B&B guests keep stealing my books
‘Please do NOT wash up!’ reads the makeshift sign I have fixed above the kitchen sink. It instructs our B&B…
The high price of a free breakfast
‘Do you want the good news or the bad news about the Germans?’ I asked, and then I offered a…
The drama of an Irish supermarket car park
The woman pushing a wheelchair was causing such a rumpus in the supermarket that whichever aisle I was in I…
My angry Fairy Liquid battle
‘Please do NOT wash up!’ reads the makeshift sign I have fixed above the kitchen sink. It instructs our B&B…
Deluded Americans are descending on Ireland
The American girl was listing her reasons for moving to Ireland in protest at Donald Trump. ‘I cannot stay in…
Our B&B is the opposite of organic
‘You need a Wwoofer,’ said the guest as he luxuriated in the big armchair by the roaring fire in our…
Lefties on a Plane: my real-life horror movie
Trapped in the middle seat next to a Dublin businessman in the window seat, I was subjected to a monologue…
How to spot a troublesome Airbnb review
The guest who thought our farm was in the town centre was very cross indeed. She got out of her…
Our B&B has found its niche
A rattling noise woke me in the dead of night and I fumbled my way into the dark corridor. It…
I’ve become a slave to my Airbnb star rating
‘Right, we’re going to book into Pauline’s B&B and give her a four-star rating and that will drop her down…
Has my father’s BBC addiction peaked?
‘I want the stairlift to go faster!’ said my mother, as the machine she was sitting on whirred furiously while…
Why must B&B guests give us advice?
‘You could mow all this lawn here and it would look a treat,’ said the arborist, returning from a stroll…
