Anthony Albanese stepped off his RAAF jet last October in his jeans with a Joy Division T-shirt stretched across his chest, grinning like he’d just pulled off the greatest larrikin stunt in Australian political cool. The press gallery cooed. Cool statement, they said. The Prime Minister enjoying his ascension, showing he’s still one of the boys.
As we used to say when we were kids, Albo thought he was hot shit. But he was only cold fart warmed up.
I was listening to Joy Division this morning on my bread run through Central NSW as I passed a semi that had rolled over. It was crappy wet windy weather, and the roads and windscreens were greasy and horrid. I saw the fleet towing ute before I saw the semi, so I knew it was covered. But I thought I’d check. No reception. Nothing.
It’s like I live in a third-world country, but when I did that, I remember having better internet. Albo in a Joy Division T-shirt is the topic of press gallery pandering but I can’t check if a fellow truckie is safe. Good one, Albo.
Albo’s T-shirt wasn’t edgy, it was try-hard. The band name carries baggage most people with half a memory would rather leave in the 1970s. Yet there he was, fresh off the plane from Washington, turning a diplomatic trip into a personal brand moment.
While the cameras clicked and the spin doctors warmed up the narrative, the rest of Australia was staring down another power bill, another fuel price hike, and another round of regional small business owners wondering how the hell they’ll keep the doors open.
The contrast couldn’t be starker with Angus Taylor, the Opposition Leader who took the gig after rolling Sussan Ley back in February.
Gus (as his family and mates call him) isn’t the T-shirt type. He’s the serious operator from Hume, former Energy Minister who actually understood baseload before the blackouts became fashionable. But can he be cool, properly cool, in a way that makes Albanese’s plane-side performance look exactly what it was, lame?
Cool in Australian politics has always been a slippery thing. It’s not about band merch or curated casual. It’s about whether blokes at the bar after a long shift reckon you get it. The pub test. The servo counter test. The truckie who’s just done the Yass-Temora run at 3am and knows the physics don’t care about your playlist.
I’ve done those runs. HR licence, bread crates, dollies, cargo barriers, the whole painful education. You learn fast that immutable rules, curfews, coffee discipline, and the reality of late docks matter more than any abstract theory.
Albanese’s government loves the big ideas, the symbolism, the ascent narrative. Gus could own the ground truth. FFS, the man can actually shear a sheep. I doubt Albanese could tie his own shoelaces. I bet he wears slip-ons.
Picture Gus turning up at a Gunning Agricultural Show or a Yass RSL without the usual Canberra minders hovering. Work boots, no tie, talking excise taxes that are hammering regional pubs, and fuel stops like the two-pump servo I occasionally help at.
Not a stunt. Just straight talk about the Catch-22 small operators face every day. Serve the community as the local hub, or survive the economics of policies that treat regional Australians like idiots to be cajoled?
That’s the cool Albanese can’t manufacture. His version is all optics and ascent. Taylor’s can only be earned.
I’ve seen real leadership up close. Royal Military College, Artillery, Tully Battle School, four generations of family service in the blood. Mateship wasn’t about looking the part, it was about earning it through competence. It wasn’t about the right T-shirt. It was the person who could deliver when the pressure was on.
Taylor has that potential. Rural seat, farming connections, a record on energy that called out the renewables fantasy before the bills landed on every kitchen table. As Opposition Leader he’s already signalling priorities that actually bite. Immigration, tax reform, our ridiculous cost of living. The question is whether he can turn that into a style that cuts through the Uniparty fog.
The Liberals have been drifting. The moderates are on Taylor’s tail.
And One Nation’s momentum in places like Farrer shows the hunger for straight talk.
Taylor’s instincts give him the base to push harder on sovereignty and rural resilience. But he needs the public face to match. No more polished focus-group answers.
In my opinion, he needs to get among the truckies, the farmers, the veterans, and the people who earn around $30-40 per hour who actually make Australia run.
Then get with those in the know and talk defence procurement that actually works, not focus on rebadged failures. Talk transport policy with those who know the difference between a dolly and a wish. Get rid of the bloody fuel excise. Don’t be afraid of the GST.
Gus doesn’t need to copy the T-shirt theatre. He just has to be the adult who actually drives change. While Albanese curates his image, Gus needs to release the no-frills clips from everyday Australians. While Labor pushes more symbolism, Taylor names the problems and offers fixes that stick.
The pub test isn’t won with band names steeped in history best left alone. If you want to get real, the only Australian bands that still cut through the general populace without hint of politics are AC/DC and Rose Tattoo. (Gary ‘Angry’ Anderson, I’m your biggest fan. Mate, give us an interview!)
But if you want to win the pub test, then it’s won by the leader who shows up, listens, and delivers. Gus has the policy chops. If he pairs them with the vernacular and the presence of someone who understands the immutable rules of regional life, he can make that plane-side moment look exactly what it was. Cold fart warmed up.
Cool politics isn’t about how you look. It’s about what you do.
Albo lived in public housing because my Mum worked four jobs to pay for it. Isn’t Australia great? Yeah. But give thanks to those who gave you your living. Albo is a serial leaner not a lifter. He is everything that Gus is not nor never could be.
So next time you are thinking about political leadership, remember this. Australia doesn’t need another poser on the tarmac. It needs the genuine article. Angus Taylor could be it, if he’s prepared to earn the cool the old-fashioned way, through competence, honesty, and connection to the places that actually keep the country running.
In the meantime, the moderates within the Liberal Party are doing everything imaginable to be uncool. I have experienced the man first-hand as my federal member for over a decade before the AEC changed the boundaries.
In my opinion, Angus Taylor is handsome, clever, caring, and hardworking. He doesn’t need a contrived event to be cool. Yet he did turn up, just as he did at the Press Club before the last election. As any employer knows, turning up is half the battle.
But imagine if your employee used your private jet to turn up to work in a Joy Division T-shirt? Now that’s really uncool.
Dr Michael de Percy @FlaneurPolitiq is the Spectator Australia’s Canberra Press Gallery Correspondent. If you would like to support his writing, or read more of Michael, please visit his website.
