It’s the book that all Westminster is talking about. At long last, Nadine Dorries’ account of the plot to bring down Boris Johnson has started its serialisation in the Daily Mail. The former Culture Secretary has never been shy of making headlines and day one is a belter. Dorries claims that a ‘shadowy Tory No.10 fixer’ had a ‘pet rabbit butchered’ in a ‘Mafia-style warning to his ex-girlfriend.’ Makes a change from a No. 10 dead cat at least…

Sadly, the Glenn Close of the Commons has not been named by Dorries, who prefers to call him ‘Dr No’ after the megalomaniac Bond villain. But she paints a vivid picture of the man whom, she says, ‘is paid by Central Office, has a pass to No 10 and, some say, Rishi Sunak doesn’t move without first seeking his advice. And yet people can spend years working in No. 10 and never hear his name mentioned.’ The man in question has reportedly worked ‘in the shadows’ of every administration since the 1990s including those of David Cameron, Theresa May, Boris Johnson and now Sunak.

Dorries claims that: ‘Dr No was once on remand in prison for alleged arson. When a girlfriend ended their relationship, it is rumoured that he had her little brother’s pet rabbit chopped into four and nailed to the front door of the family home to greet him when he got home from school, in true Mafia style.’ The brother in question told the Mail: ‘I definitely had a rabbit, and I don’t now.’ Time to call in Starsky and Hutch?

Further extracts from the most legalled work since Spycatcher are expected tomorrow. Let’s hope no further innocent pets are harmed…