Flat White

A what’s woke special: and to think that we saw it in Wokeworld this week

11 March 2021

4:30 PM

11 March 2021

4:30 PM

The Twittersphere this week went into meltdown at the news that Dr Seuss Enterprises — the company that is supposed to preserve the legacy of the world’s most popular children’s author — was engaging in a spot of self-censorship. They announced with hands on woke hearts that six of Seuss’ children’s books would be purged from their catalogue “due to their racist and insensitive portrayal of people of color’. As if that wasn’t bad enough, then eBay and Amazon saw an opportunity to hitch their wagons to the woke juggernaut by banning the sale of the ‘offensive’ books.

While most of the books were not among Seuss’ best sellers one favourite stood out to me. And To Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street, the tale of the fantastical imagination of one junior observer of life, was Seuss’s first children’s book published in 1937. It introduced the world to those rollicking rhymes and whimsical illustrations that have delighted generations of children ever since.


The young protagonist’s highly developed talent for dissembling and embellishment reminded me of the tales told by the woke in pursuit of their agenda. But Marco’s ‘truths’ were checked by his father while the woke seem to find less and less resistance to their versions of reality.

In honour of Theodor Seuss Geisel, this week’s tales from the world of woke come to you in rhyme:

If you want to be scolded while watching a flick

Turner Classic Films should do the trick.

Great films’ legacies have been ‘reframed’

And their ‘problematic’ aspects outed and shamed.

 

You’ll learn from experts while you watch over dinner

That Gone with the Wind is a racism winner.

And Sidney Poitier in Guess who’s Coming to Dinner?

Had a ‘white fan base’ so he’s now a sinner.

 

Psycho is nothing but transgender othering

For Hitchcock’s portrayal of slasher mothering.

And while we’re on Hitchcock the trouble with Rope

Is the closeted gay stereotypical trope.

 

And that is a story that no one can beat.

And to think that we saw it in Wokeworld this week.

But wait, there is more in the wild world of woke.

Here’s another sad tale that could well make you choke.

 

Charles ‘Blowhard’ from the NYT

Set forth his woke ideology.

We must not stop at Dr Seuss!

Cartoons are a cesspit of sexual abuse!

 

‘Rape culture’ is real and Looney Tunes portrayed it,

It’s time we took stock, criticized and X-rayed it.

Pepe le Pew, that French skunk Casanova

Assaulted female cats over and over

 

He wasn’t a caricature figure of jest

But a would-be rapist and serial pest.

And generations of pre-pubescent boys

Learned that women are mere sex toys.

 

We should add to the list of persona non gratas (poetic licence, readers!)

That cute sombrero-ed rodent, Speedy Gonzales.

From his ‘ebony tower’ Blow gave him a swipe

For popularising a bad racial stereotype.

 

So now, like the woke, you can tweet and browbeat

About things that we saw in Wokeworld this week.

But hold on to your hats, there is much more to learn

About the woke’s penchant for slash and burn

 

At elite private schools in the USA

For western culture it’s ‘anchors aweigh!’

Its norms and traditions must be burned down.

Critical Race Theory’s the new game in town

 

In physics they’re coming with woke chainsaws

To ‘decentre whiteness’ from Newton’s laws.

Wealthy, privileged black students are feeling stressed

Because their skin colour makes them oppressed.

 

Community building sessions are racially segregated,

Classic literature is reviled and castrated.

Whiteness is now a reason for exclusion,

All in the name of ’equity’ and ‘inclusion’.

 

And serial academic wokeness has spread,

Turning education on its head.

A black law professor from Dayton, Ohio

Can now add ‘whiteness sleuth’ to her bio.

 

She doesn’t want standardized testing or grading

To get in the way of her racial crusading.

Thanks to her you can see which law schools are the whitest

And quotas will make sure they’re no more the brightest.

 

So now you have learned of the havoc they wreak.

We saw it all and more in Wokeworld this week

 

Got something to add? Join the discussion and comment below.


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