Flat White

SCOOP: Grovels from Danandrewstan

17 June 2020

7:58 PM

17 June 2020

7:58 PM

Let’s face it. With current coronavirus restrictions, you’re unlikely to get a “Greetings from Victoria” postcard any time soon — even if it doesn’t dissolve under the strength of the Australia Post fumigants (and their new weird practice of only delivering what they want to, when they want to).

So here’s a scoop, Grovels from Danandrewstan, a letter to the Labor faithful from the Chairman himself sent out this evening telling them to ignore the running dogs of the capitalist media and assuring them that they’re in for a record mung bean harvest and bicycle production, even despite 21 new coronavirus cases in the past 24 hours or so.


There has long been speculation — as scurrilous as comparing Glorious Comrade President for Life Xi Jinping with Winnie the Pooh — that says that Andrews is Lurch from the Addams Family after 18 months on a Keto diet and some hair work.

We trust his review will also answer the question: is he a real human being or just some freak created around the back of some faction warrior’s electorate office?

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