There’s numpty — and there’s peak numpty.

Numpty is the government wasting our money on something that never happened; marking the 250th anniversary of Captain James Cook’s claiming of our east coast for Britain by arranging a circumnavigation of Australia by a replica of his vessel, the Endeavour (hint to Education Minister Dan Tehan – feed “Matthew Flinders” into Google and see what happens).

Peak numpty, however, is demanding this harmless historical illiteracy must be stopped not just because of colonialism, but bushfires, climate change, disability services and much, much more, all While using A Random Lot of Capitals.

This example of peak numpt can be found on the numptiest of all platforms outside Twitter, change.org.

Did you notice that? Overseas celebrities may be offended “about the amount” not of finance, but “fiance” involved.

Given the number of times your average celebrity gets married, let alone engaged, wasting “fiance” usually doesn’t appear to be an issue for them, but this is clearly very different. Very serious indeed.

Only one conclusion can be drawn from. Everything that ever happened in Australian history is very bad and must be stopped — now — if not banned outright.

Got something to add? Join the discussion and comment below.