Flat White

Caution: gay people crossing

27 November 2018

4:49 PM

27 November 2018

4:49 PM

First we’ve had skirts put on pedestrian crossing lights’ little people, because apparently, unlike children, some adults think that stick figures represent men only and not all human beings (until that courageous move, have there really been any women who’ve actually thought about it and decided they were discriminated against by the signage patriarchy, or who wouldn’t cross the street because the lights did not represent them?).

Now come the same-sex couples:

Pedestrians in Canberra* are making slight double takes with the installation of same-sex pedestrian lights in the city centre.

Eight new lights have been set up in the inner-north suburb of Braddon featuring both male and female same-sex couples.

The lights function like any standard pedestrian crossing signal.

But they have marked an important crossroad in Australia’s history, coinciding with the first anniversary of the same-sex marriage postal survey results.

Nearly three out of every four Canberrans supported a change to the Marriage Act — the highest ‘yes’ result in the country.

CEO of the City Renewal Authority (CRA) Malcolm Snow said the concept recognised the city’s inclusive attitude.

“Braddon is a fantastic place. It already is the epicentre — if you like — the expression of diversity in our city,” he said.

“We want to strengthen that so Civic itself can be a place where people can celebrate and protest.

“That’s what city centres exist to do, and I think it’s important in our work that we provide the opportunity for people to reconnect with this.”

The installation costs amounted to $5,500 with a considerable proportion involving setup costs.

It’s estimated future projects will cost less and feature other diverse silhouettes at significant places around the city centre.

Personally, I recommend chicken, so they can finally cross the road.


Other possible options for diverse silhouettes:

  • Her Majesty the Queen on the nineteenth anniversary of the unsuccessful republic referendum
  • Refugees crossing on a boat
  • A heterosexual couple
  • A ménage-a-Trois
  • A dog and its, um, owner
  • Colours others than green, yellow and red in recognition of other ethnicities that make up Australia’s multicultural society
  • Ruby Rose as Catwoman
  • Male followed by four women in niqabs (alternatively: five Mormons)
  • Al Grassby (although there’s already a statue to the Mafioso mate in Canberra)
  • A non-binary stick figure
  • A sitting stick figure for people who can’t walk
  • A non-stick figure, as stickness represent fat shaming and conveys an unrealistic and unhealthy body image in particular to our teenage girls.

The report continues:

Suggestions of tokenism and virtue signalling have been brushed off.

All too lightly, might I suggest.

*Canberra nicked the idea from Munich, by the way. Since when did people in a city of inbred public servants ever have original thoughts?

Arthur Chrenkoff blogs at The Daily Chrenk, where this piece also appears.

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