Volvo
A festive rapprochement with the ex-builder boyfriend
1 January. Rooms left in house to decorate: 1 (only the attic, therefore doesn’t count).Walls plastered by self with no…
Watch your backs, everyone: I haven’t slept for three years
Insomnia has a lot to answer for. I have not been sleeping well for years but a few months ago…
Melissa Kite: a crazy woman is living inside my head.
A crazy woman is living inside my head. It’s not just the normal crazy woman who camps out there from…
To the eco-warrior on the moped...
‘Well,’ said my gay lawyer friend Stephen as I pulled over to drop him off at Sloane Square Tube, ‘it’s…
Volvo 1; Melissa Kite: 0
‘And for my next trick,’ said the Volvo, as I parked at the supermarket and pulled the handle of the…
Like a Volvo, I start predicting disaster long before it happens
The mechanic hooked the Volvo up to his special laptop. He had kindly offered to come to me in order…
Give a working cocker a few months off and it turns into one half of Thelma and Louise
‘Can I go and play with Twiggy?’ If dogs could talk, this is what my spaniel Cydney would be saying…
My Volvo has turned into a monster
The Volvo has turned into a monster. It always did have a mind of its own. Fellow owners warned me…
Melissa Kite: I can turn a picnic into a panic attack
You know you’re in bad shape when you need to make a list before you go to the GP. Admittedly,…
