manners
Dear Mary: what should I do if my guests don’t want to take their shoes off?
Q. My brother and I have bought a flat together in central London. It was expensive but we will save…
Dear Mary: where should I park my car at my boyfriend’s parents’ house?
Q. My boyfriend’s family live in a very pretty Georgian house in the country. The family park their cars at…
Want to get on in society? Read an etiquette guide
A few weeks ago, an Irish Times columnist, Fintan O’Toole, wrote about receiving a copy of a 1930s book of…
Dear Mary: how do I tell friends I haven’t lost weight using Ozempic?
Q. We have made friends with a very unpopular local man and would like to skewer the myths about him…
Dear Mary: how can I tell my neighbour his garden is a fire hazard?
Q. We have a granddaughter, aged 21, living in our basement. We see a lot of her and her boyfriend.…
Death to the dinner party!
It’s time to put the dinner party out of its misery. Oh, and the awards dinner, dining with the cruise…
Dear Mary: what is the proper way ‘to shoot grouse’?
Q. I have a good relationship with a neighbour. She has a labrador and I have a Jack Russell. If…
Dear Mary: did fat jabs ruin my party?
Q. I have inherited a small estate which includes a few houses in my village. I was initially very pleased…
Dear Mary: what should I do if I run into my ex on holiday?
Q. A woman I have known for many years and who helped look after my mother has just had her…
Dear Mary: how can I tell my fellow bridesmaid that her speech is waffling?
Q. A few years ago friends from New Zealand came to stay with us for what they said would be…
Dear Mary: How should I have dealt with a seat thief?
Q. When guests are leaving our house they sometimes ask: ‘Would you like me to strip my bed?’ The truthful…
Dear Mary: Help! I have four girlfriends
Q. I am 26 and my problem is that I have four girlfriends. None of them knows about the other…
Dear Mary: how can I stop someone from treating a waiter badly?
Q. A gang of us have rented a house in Portugal. We have all been friends since school, but one…
Dear Mary: can I accuse a writer of using AI?
Q. I work at a magazine and am occasionally (and perhaps with increasing frequency) sent articles that strike me as…
Dear Mary: What should I do if the view’s no good with my free tickets to Wimbledon?
Q. Around this time of year a friend, who somehow gets hold of tickets through an agency, usually asks me…
Dear Mary: how can I wangle a private jet invitation?
Q. Mary, can you rule on an aspect of private jet etiquette? I have been invited to a house party…
Dear Mary: how do I stop friends buying me pet-themed presents?
Q. I have been working in a large restaurant alongside a very attractive, although shy, girl. I live near the…
Dear Mary: how can I get rid of my friends’ wives from our WhatsApp group?
Q. When I left university I set up a WhatsApp group with several male friends to cover our interest in…
Dear Mary: how can I shut up a noisy fellow diner?
Q. I was lunching at a writers’ club in Lexington Street. It is a small but agreeable space. At one…
Dear Mary: How can I stop my husband from interrupting?
Q. My husband worked in an office for 25 years and now works from home. As well as the interaction…
Dear Mary: should guests offer to reimburse me for charging their electric car at my house?
Q. I’m an artist and work from home painting people’s pets from photographs. While working I take a lot of…
Dear Mary: how can I interrupt a gossipy friend who won’t shut up?
Q. I went to a party last weekend and my father asked me to go and introduce myself if I…
Dear Mary: how can I tell a friend she has Mounjaro face?
Q. Like many women of a certain age, I’m ‘on the pen’. I’ve lost about 20lb on Mounjaro, which I…
Dear Mary: how can I stop rich friends splitting the bill?
Q. I have the sort of job that means I am regularly recruiting new young talent. Now when I go…
Dear Mary: Is my dentist profiting from my gold filling?
Q. I went to stay in the new house of a close, but not very close, friend. She put me…
