Language
Illegitimate
‘The Archbishop of Canterbury has discovered he is the illegitimate son of Sir Winston Churchill’s last private secretary,’ Charles Moore…
Gender fluid
Benjamin Franklin thought that an excess of electric fluid gave rise to positive electricity, and a deficiency of the fluid…
Special status
‘Special status?’ said my husband. ‘You mean like executioners, butchers and undertakers in Japan?’ I hadn’t suggested that, but had…
Creaky voice
My husband, not surprisingly, finds it extremely annoying. It, in this instance, is the use by women of creaky voice.…
Beware
My husband pointed with his stick, which he carries not to steady himself but to cudgel pedestrians out of his…
Not even a thing
Last summer Kim Kardashian, who already had a daughter called North (surname West), announced that she was expecting a boy.…
Peak
Near Victoria Station in London they began to build a tower-block advertised as ‘The Peak’. I expected it to resemble…
Chattering classes
When the much missed Frank Johnson (1943–2006), once editor of The Spectator, wrote in 1980 that ‘the peculiar need for…
Mind your language . . . on commit
My husband struck out with his stick at an advertisement in the street that said: ‘Commit to winter.’ He doesn’t…
‘They pull a gun, you pull a hashtag’ – the ridiculous debate over what to call Isil
We should worry less about what to call Isis, and more about how to fight them
The rise of the man bun, the Mancan and man boobs
‘Ha, ha, ha,’ said my husband, as though he had learnt to laugh by reading Twitter. ‘Now they’ve got falsies.’ He…
Is ‘female’ still an insult?
‘More deadly than the male,’ said my husband archly. He was knowingly quoting Kipling, though I don’t know why he…
How we ended up ‘cisgender’
‘That’s not how you spell “system”,’ said my husband triumphantly, pointing with his whisky glass at a placard inveighing against…
Diary
I’m counting ‘Wows!’ Suddenly everyone is using this irritating expletive expressing incredulity, amazement and nothing at all. I’ve heard it…
Fulsome
It’s funny that two much misused words end in —some: fulsome and noisome. Noisome is the less often used at…
I invented ‘virtue signalling’. Now it’s taking over the world
I invented the term ‘virtue signalling’ in The Spectator. Now it seems to be taking over the world
The weird truth about the word ‘normal’
‘Is Nicky Morgan too “normal” to be the next prime minister?’ asked someone in the Daily Telegraph. That would make…
Critique
I lost my husband on the way from Malabar. He is easily lost. We had been talking about the verb…
Fuckebythenavele
A great discovery has been made by Dr Paul Booth, a fellow of Keele University. It is a 14th-century example…
Credible
In a wonderfully dry manual of theology on my husband’s bookshelves, written in Latin and printed in Naples in the…
Migrant
Al Jazeera, the Qatari broadcaster, is going to use refugee instead of migrant in its English output. ‘The umbrella term…
Asexual
There was a time when my husband, who often addresses the television, would habitually react to Edward Heath’s appearance on…
Taleban
Toxic virus or Taleban: it’s funny how the mild-mannered Liz Kendall has attracted for her Blairite associations the most violently…
Big ask
‘That’s unnecessarily crude,’ said my husband, turning momentarily from the television and improving the shining minute by setting the whisky…
Matajudíos
A village has changed its name because it seemed offensive. But I think the villagers were under a misapprehension. The…
