Language
Asexual
There was a time when my husband, who often addresses the television, would habitually react to Edward Heath’s appearance on…
Taleban
Toxic virus or Taleban: it’s funny how the mild-mannered Liz Kendall has attracted for her Blairite associations the most violently…
Big ask
‘That’s unnecessarily crude,’ said my husband, turning momentarily from the television and improving the shining minute by setting the whisky…
Matajudíos
A village has changed its name because it seemed offensive. But I think the villagers were under a misapprehension. The…
Due diligence
No doubt you, too, have had the feeling, upon glancing at an article in a paper picked up in a…
Flanders
Usually, one of the first indications that you’ve entered a bilingual country is that the road signs are in two…
In defence of Gove’s grammar
Few things are more likely to provoke the disapproval of the bien-pensant left than criticising someone’s grammar. The very idea…
Diary
Off to prison to visit a writer friend, first jailed led some years ago for trying to find a hit…
Trigger
A notion is going about that, just as readers of film reviews receive spoiler alerts, so readers of anything should…
Brain fade
‘Aa-aah,’ groaned my husband, ‘we fade to grey.’ He had never been much of a Young Romantic, even when Visage…
Eurovision-speak
Like a reluctantly remembered nightmare, last week’s Eurovision Song Contest already seems very distant. But, in the manner of the…
Progressive
I was interested by the widespread annoyance at the use of progressive by the lefty parties before the election. Irritation…
Passion
‘I long for spontaneous passion but I will never get it with my husband because I think he has Asperger…
They
I’ve been having a lovely time splashing about in the new Fowler. It has been revised by Jeremy Butterfield, an…
Poop
Danny Alexander recounted in the Diary last week his daughter’s efforts in making unicorn poop. This is something of a…
Scobberlotcher
Hilary Spurling found a certain blunting of the irregularities of John Aubrey’s language in Ruth Scurr’s vicarious autobiography of the…
Negatively impacted
Maureen Finucane of Richmond, Surrey, wonders whether there is any branch of public service not infected by Orwellian Newspeak. In…
Anniversary
‘You must promise to be with us for our silver wedding D.V. which will be in four years,’ wrote Queen…
Robust
‘Heart of Oak are our ships, Jolly Tars are our men,’ shouted my husband unconvincingly. He has taken to doing…
Twitter style
I don’t know if you tweet — No! Don’t turn over, I’m not going to get all techie. I do…
Coloured
Benedict Cumberbatch apologised at length: ‘devastated’, ‘shaming’, ‘offended’, ‘inappropriate’. What had he done? Been caught in a compromising situation or…
Lapsing into a comma
Modern manners and the fear of the full stop
Prolific
I read somewhere recently of a Soho artist who was a ‘prolific drinker’. The meaning is clear, but hasn’t the…
Get over yourself
Is there any cure for this piece of corporate speak?
Parenting
‘Not still War and Peace!’ exclaimed my husband on 1 January during the all-day Tolstoy splurge on Radio 4. In reality…
