Etiquette
Dear Mary
Q. I have been working (from home) for a TV comedy production company for a year. My job is scouting…
Dear Mary
Q. Before Covid, I was staying with friends in the country every other weekend. As a single man living in…
Dear Mary
Q. I hesitate to bring you this problem, but I suspect it is not that uncommon. Early in our very…
Dear Mary
Q. Recently an old acquaintance, notorious for never penning a ‘thank you’ note, emailed me telling me he was being…
The Spectator’s Notes
There is a ‘pervasive presence of Chinese military-linked conglomerates and universities in the sponsorship of high-technology research centres in many…
Dear Mary
Q. My mother, aged 87, has taken to forwarding me by email slightly risqué jokes. Her carer is the recipient…
Dear Mary
Q. My husband has always worked extremely hard and now does so from home — so I go to great…
Dear Mary
Q. I was instrumental in finding some much-needed work for a local retired secretary/PA when I recommended her for the…
Dear Mary
Q. Following the birth of our child we were deluged with cards, gifts and money from kind family and friends.…
Dear Mary
From Joanna Lumley Q. We receive a huge number of Christmas cards every year. When I take them all down…
Dear Mary
Q. I am extremely fond of an artist friend, despite the fact that I have never liked her work or…
Dear Mary
Q. Unlike my wife, I am tiring of Netflix. Wanting a project to occupy me during these long dark nights,…
Playing nice
On the cult of instant intimacy
Dear Mary
Q. For many years my boss gave each member of his small team a very generous Christmas gift voucher from…
Name dropping
The death of the surname
Dear Mary
Q. My son has moved his girlfriend into our fairly small house for the second lockdown. I am grateful for…
Dear Mary
Q. I have a delightful young goddaughter who, thanks to the virus, I have not seen since last year. Her…
Dear Mary
Q. Is there a tactful way to wind up a Zoom call when one of you has more time on…
Dear Mary
Q. I would welcome your advice on a tricky family matter. For my 70th birthday earlier this year my brother…
Dear Mary
Q. An old friend offered to treat me to a birthday lunch, provided I choose and book the restaurant myself.…
Dear Mary
Q. A year ago we sent out 150 save-the-date notices for our wedding this December. We are still going ahead,…
Dear Mary
Q. I am running out of suitable responses to a friend who now has the slightest possible connection to one…
Dear Mary
Q. Many years ago I was asked to officiate at a funeral for a family I did not know. As…
Dear Mary
Q. My husband and I have spent many happy weekends in the seaside cottage of long-standing friends. Knowing how much…
Dear Mary
Q. Almost a year ago I attended the funeral of my godfather — a bachelor and distant relation whom I…
