Etiquette
Dear Mary: How can I stop friends asking to stay in my holiday cottage?
Q. My beloved wife has been studying Chinese metaphysics for 18 months. Our house and garden have been badly neglected…
Dear Mary: How do I get my neighbours to tidy their front gardens?
Q. I live in a row of town houses with a communal strip of garden in front. Three of the…
Dear Mary: When is it acceptable to make a French exit?
Q. The other night, while hosting a house party, I was one of only three people still chatting by the…
Dear Mary: How do we stop our friends’ dogs wrecking our house?
Q. We have old friends who live in the northern hinterlands and have a property in Provence where they normally…
Dear Mary: Has lockdown de-civilised my husband?
Q. Last night I went to dinner with people I had never met before. Because the host was a friend…
Dear Mary: How do we tell our friend that her hairstyle doesn’t suit her?
Q. At a lunch party, I was getting on so well with someone I had not met before. She knew…
In our narcissistic age, nothing beats good manners
Why rudeness doesn’t pay
Dear Mary: should we exclude our friend for not having had his Covid vaccine?
Q. Once restrictions are lifted, our annual walking group has planned a week’s walk with after-walk gatherings in a different…
Dear Mary: What is the etiquette around gifts for virtual weddings?
Q. We have been invited to a virtual wedding. Is it correct form to send a present?— P.F., Barrow Street,…
Dear Mary: How do I tell my fiancee that she eats with her mouth open?
Q. I’ve recently been approached by a very good friend who — with genuinely admirable candour and tact — pointed…
Dear Mary: How do I cope with colleagues’ bad habits now I’m back in the office?
Q. I am placed in a social dilemma due to a proposed visit on the last weekend of June by…
Dear Mary: How can I stop my sister-in-law pinching food off my plate?
Q. Since the relaxation of lockdown, my brother and his wife have started coming to our garden for takeaway meals.…
Dear Mary: What’s the etiquette of loo-flushing for overnight guests?
Q. My husband and I have started receiving invitations to large summer events scheduled for after 21 June. We have…
Dear Mary: How can we use our neighbour’s tennis court without inviting him to play?
Q. Our neighbours have a tennis court which, under the property’s previous owner, we enjoyed playing men’s fours on. The…
Dear Mary: How do I reject a wedding invitation without causing offence?
Q. I have just been invited to a wedding where the groom will be the only person I know. Much…
Dear Mary: How do we stop chatty workmen from disturbing us?
Q. I have been working (from home) for a TV comedy production company for a year. My job is scouting…
Dear Mary: How can I prioritise ‘first division’ friends after lockdown?
Q. Before Covid, I was staying with friends in the country every other weekend. As a single man living in…
Dear Mary: What should my wife and I do with the risque photos we took in our youth?
Q. I hesitate to bring you this problem, but I suspect it is not that uncommon. Early in our very…
Dear Mary: How do I tell my neighbour she’s let herself go in lockdown?
Q. Recently an old acquaintance, notorious for never penning a ‘thank you’ note, emailed me telling me he was being…
Will social kisses survive Covid?
There is a ‘pervasive presence of Chinese military-linked conglomerates and universities in the sponsorship of high-technology research centres in many…
Dear Mary: Why is my 87-year-old mother emailing me risque jokes?
Q. My mother, aged 87, has taken to forwarding me by email slightly risqué jokes. Her carer is the recipient…
Dear Mary: What should I do about my husband’s schoolboy table habits?
Q. My husband has always worked extremely hard and now does so from home — so I go to great…
Dear Mary: Is my husband’s forgetfulness about fastening his flies costing us friends?
Q. I was instrumental in finding some much-needed work for a local retired secretary/PA when I recommended her for the…
Dear Mary: How do we thank a friend when we’ve forgotten what they sent us?
Q. Following the birth of our child we were deluged with cards, gifts and money from kind family and friends.…
Dear Mary, from Joanna Lumley: what should I do with my excess Christmas cards?
From Joanna Lumley Q. We receive a huge number of Christmas cards every year. When I take them all down…
