Etiquette
Dear Mary: How do I stop the cleaner ‘helping’ with my jigsaw?
Q. Unlike my wife, I am tiring of Netflix. Wanting a project to occupy me during these long dark nights,…
Save me from the cult of instant intimacy
On the cult of instant intimacy
Dear Mary: How can I stop my boss giving me a Christmas hamper?
Q. For many years my boss gave each member of his small team a very generous Christmas gift voucher from…
First names are for friends and family, not bosses and builders
The death of the surname
Dear Mary: Will my friend be offended if I buy her an XL dress?
Q. My son has moved his girlfriend into our fairly small house for the second lockdown. I am grateful for…
Dear Mary: How do I cope with cooking for food snobs?
Q. I have a delightful young goddaughter who, thanks to the virus, I have not seen since last year. Her…
Dear Mary: How can I wind up a Zoom call with a chatty friend?
Q. Is there a tactful way to wind up a Zoom call when one of you has more time on…
Dear Mary: Why is my brother making me pay £400 for a drawing of my cat?
Q. I would welcome your advice on a tricky family matter. For my 70th birthday earlier this year my brother…
Dear Mary: Can I still socialise with my virus-denying friends?
Q. An old friend offered to treat me to a birthday lunch, provided I choose and book the restaurant myself.…
Dear Mary: We’ve had to downsize our wedding – can we still ask everyone for presents?
Q. A year ago we sent out 150 save-the-date notices for our wedding this December. We are still going ahead,…
Dear Mary: How can my celebrity husband still be recognised in a face mask?
Q. I am running out of suitable responses to a friend who now has the slightest possible connection to one…
Dear Mary: How should I handle my bitchy friend’s birthday cards?
Q. Many years ago I was asked to officiate at a funeral for a family I did not know. As…
Dear Mary: How do I stop people assuming I’m a billionaire?
Q. My husband and I have spent many happy weekends in the seaside cottage of long-standing friends. Knowing how much…
Dear Mary: how can I avoid my friend’s awful favourite restaurant?
Q. Almost a year ago I attended the funeral of my godfather — a bachelor and distant relation whom I…
Dear Mary: How can I get my social skills back after lockdown?
Q. I have just been out to my first lunch in months. Ten of us sat around a table in…
Dear Mary: How can we be sure our host gives us clean sheets?
Q. Some friends persist on displaying our email addresses in large address lists when sending out round robins to all…
Dear Mary: How can I hide my lockdown weight gain?
Q. For professional reasons it is important that I am not fat. However I have put on more than a…
Dear Mary: how do I confront a work colleague who has bad BO?
Q. My son is having his 30th birthday next weekend and has invited 50 friends to a garden party. We…
Dear Mary: How do I tell my neighbours I forgot to feed their cat?
Q. We invited two friends to supper in London. As they came in they said they should order their taxi…
Dear Mary: What gift can you buy for the hosts who have everything?
Q. I am not expected to pay rent at the cottage which has been lent to me by a super-kind…
Dear Mary: Where should we seat wedding guests who hold unfashionable views?
Q. Our daughter is going ahead with her wedding despite the restriction on guest numbers. Although it is a relief…
Dear Mary: How can I help the host at a socially-distant dinner party?
Q. As we attend socially distant events, we expect of our hosts a scrupulous accommodation of our preferences around physical…
Dear Mary: How can I leave a boring WhatsApp group without upsetting anyone?
Q. During lockdown I have done my level best to assist with household chores. Last week, while my wife was…
Dear Mary: Will my lockdown appearance be too off-putting for the office?
Q. Just before Covid, we moved out of London with the intention of having a quiet life in the country.…
Dear Mary: How can I stop predatory kisses at social gatherings?
Q. How can one politely stop predatory kissers? I am (or was) an affectionate and demonstrative person but I don’t…
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