Etiquette
Dear Mary: How do I tell my neighbours I’m too busy to stop for a chat?
Q. My parents are abroad for two months and as my flatmates in London are all, like me, working from…
Dear Mary: How do I stop a mutual friend giving my contact details to a man I don’t like?
Q. Everyone was divine at a very jolly lunch I attended in the Cotswolds with the exception of one person,…
Dear Mary: How do I avoid getting waylaid at a packed party?
Q. I have found parties frustrating this month because they have been too crowded. Is there a polite way to…
Dear Mary: Must I call my new partner my ‘boyfriend’ when we’re in our seventies?
Q. My girlfriend and I have started using a personal trainer for some joint sessions at our local gym; the…
Dear Mary: How should I handle summer invitations when I might get a better offer?
Q. In order to raise money for a worthwhile cause, I have agreed to open my garden for the first…
Dear Mary: Should house guests pay to charge their electric cars?
Q. My wife’s father, who she adored, has died and she is to be his sole beneficiary. She intends to…
Dear Mary: How do I dodge my village’s Jubilee tug-of-war contest?
Q. I’m 28 and lucky enough to own a four-bed house in Notting Hill. I let three of the rooms…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my father’s girlfriend boiling a full kettle for one cup of tea?
Q. Financially successful friends have kindly invited my husband and me to stay for a week in France. Our problem…
Dear Mary: How do you stop a cat from sneaking next door?
Q. A great friend is in a terrible state regarding a cat foisted on her by a close relation. She…
Dear Mary: How do I convince my brother to go to a fancy dress party?
Q. My brother’s social life has dried up since his divorce (which coincided with the pandemic). So when he received…
Dear Mary: How do I deal with my book club’s dietary requirements?
Q. I live in the Hampshire countryside, in a lovely apartment where I have the use of an old walled…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my husband spying on me?
Q. My husband has developed an irksome habit whenever he goes abroad without me. We have cameras outside the house…
Dear Mary: What’s the etiquette of tipping takeaway delivery drivers?
Q. Rory Sutherland recently wrote about high-end takeaways (Wiki Man, 19 February). In the last London lockdown, I was fortunate…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my new friend leaving me broke?
Q. Recently I started hanging out with a new friend. We are both in our twenties, single, and usually go…
Dear Mary: How do I tell my friends that napkin rings are the height of naff?
Q. Three weeks ago I banged my head on the lower branch of our near neighbours’ tree, which I couldn’t…
Dear Mary: How do I tackle the menace of strangers making mobile calls on speakerphone?
Q. As if it wasn’t bad enough to overhear one side of a conversation as it’s bellowed into a mobile…
Dear Mary: How can we avoid making friends on our cruise?
Q. My partner’s work involves him seeing and talking to people all day, every day. I booked us on to…
Dear Mary: How do we get out of doing our hosts’ cleaning?
Q. My husband and I have made friends with two distinguished, although fairly eccentric, writers whose company we thoroughly enjoy.…
Dear Mary: How can I stop unexpected visitors using my loo?
Q. I treat myself to a manicure every ten days. It’s a 30-minute appointment and the girl I use is…
Dear Mary: Do I have to display my friend’s awful painting?
Q. A long-standing artist friend, whose work now commands high prices, has sent me out of the blue a present…
Dear Mary: How can I get my cleaner to stop complaining?
Q. My cleaner is industrious and trustworthy but she doesn’t have many people to talk to and evidently looks forward…
Dear Mary, from Matt Hancock: after an eventful year, how should I get in touch with old friends?
From Lady Antonia Fraser Q. I enjoy getting readers’ letters, but there is one category I am at a loss…
Dear Mary: How do I politely avoid going to a memorial service?
Q. I will shortly be attending a major social gathering in London at which I can look forward to seeing…
Dear Mary: How do I stop a dinner guest double-dipping?
Q. During lockdown I made good friends with a neighbour who I would never have met otherwise. This man lives…
Dear Mary: Should I pay to charge my electric car at a friend’s house?
Q. An acquaintance suggested organising a celebratory dinner in honour of some mutual friends. He asked my husband and me,…
