Etiquette
Dear Mary: How can I stop my husband from interrupting?
Q. My husband worked in an office for 25 years and now works from home. As well as the interaction…
Dear Mary: should guests offer to reimburse me for charging their electric car at my house?
Q. I’m an artist and work from home painting people’s pets from photographs. While working I take a lot of…
Dear Mary: how can I interrupt a gossipy friend who won’t shut up?
Q. I went to a party last weekend and my father asked me to go and introduce myself if I…
Dear Mary: how can I tell a friend she has Mounjaro face?
Q. Like many women of a certain age, I’m ‘on the pen’. I’ve lost about 20lb on Mounjaro, which I…
Dear Mary: how can I stop rich friends splitting the bill?
Q. I have the sort of job that means I am regularly recruiting new young talent. Now when I go…
Dear Mary: Is my dentist profiting from my gold filling?
Q. I went to stay in the new house of a close, but not very close, friend. She put me…
Dear Mary: how can I get my snobby mother to accept a live-in carer?
Q. I have a meeting scheduled with a possible business associate who asked me to buy a certain book on…
Dear Mary: how do I seat lesbians at a dinner party?
Q. We have recently moved out of London and have met charming, married lesbians who are living locally. They are…
Dear Mary: do I have to give my cleaner a payrise?
Q. A new neighbour (a weekender from London) asked me if I’d be prepared to pass on the contact details…
‘Happy Friday!’: resist the tyranny of faux niceness
Five people I never met wished me a Happy Friday last Friday by email. You can pretty much be wished…
Dear Mary: How can I stop people pitying me for being made redundant?
Q. I have just got off a nine-hour overnight flight from Miami to Heathrow. I was in premium economy in…
Dear Mary: how can I shut down my husband’s screaming yawns?
Q. I run a busy company with a workforce of 150, where I need to have short, to-the-point discussions with…
Dear Mary: How can I persuade a friend to stop allowing her dog to lick her plate?
Q. My grandson has just failed his driving test for the fifth time and yet I know, from his chauffeuring…
Dear Mary: How do we get more men to our singles’ events?
Q. Last year I decided to share a flat with an old, but not very close, friend from school. It…
Dear Mary: How do I get guests to help with the washing up?
Q. My daughter is temporarily living abroad and we communicate daily on WhatsApp. She’s always desperate for any local news/gossip…
Dear Mary: How do you swerve a dinner party bore?
Dear Mary: How do you swerve a dinner party bore?
Dear Mary: How do I get my friend to clean up after her dog?
Q. Every so often we’re invited to our friends’ house for lunch or dinner. It’s close by and the house…
I walked out of my son’s nativity play
To walk out of a public performance before the end – be it the theatre, a concert or a lecture…
Dear Mary: How do we stop our generous host putting us in the worst room?
Q. Around this time of year a successful friend likes to rent an expensive ski chalet with cook and fill…
Dear Mary: How do I avoid getting shown up by a more chivalrous bachelor?
Q. My godfather, who has managed to get me a valuable internship in the Far East, has also sent me…
Dear Mary: Can I remain friends with someone who has a frozen face?
Q. A close friend of my own age, 52, has had various things done to her face and now looks…
Dear Mary: How can I catch a ‘re-gifter’ out?
Q. I live in a small house in Hampstead and have taken in a friend of a friend as a…
Dear Mary: Can I retract a party invitation without causing offence?
Q. A very likeable woman has joined the company I work for and also just moved to my village. I…
The rise of the on-the-day party drop-out
A new drinks-party-shirking method has taken hold in British society. I call it ‘Lastminute.non’. Previously, the way of not going…
Dear Mary: Do we turn up at a party even though no written invitation arrived?
Q. An extremely old friend is a successful purveyor of high-end goods. Last time we saw him he invited us…
