Q. I have just returned from a holiday where I was the guest of someone extremely rich. She was emphatic that everything would be covered and I must not even think of bringing a present. However, after one lunch in a restaurant, I felt driven to make a gesture and quietly asked the waiter for the bill. The sum involved was the equivalent of two months’ rent for me, but worse, no one noticed I had paid.  When the time came, everyone just got up to leave and I realised our host has an account with the restaurant, so she would not have noticed either. How, without being vulgar, can I let her know the financial sacrifice I made in a sincere, if misguided, attempt to show my appreciation?

– Name and address withheld

A. In your thank-you letter, briefly mention that you very naughtily disobeyed her diktat and paid for lunch at this restaurant. You felt you should mention it as she might notice the discrepancy when she receives their statement and would not wish to impugn their financial efficiency.

Q. I go to a hairdresser in London that has about six stylists. They are all lovely, but last time I had a new person as the others were all booked up. He was very rough and talked so much (about himself) that I was 20 mins late leaving. I rang to make an appointment this week and he answered and said he would book me in with him again. How could I say I want one of the other hairdressers without being rude?

– Name and address withheld

A. Ask a member of staff or a friend to telephone and cancel this appointment on your behalf, saying something has come up (no need to say what). On ringing back to reschedule, if offered a slot with the rough man, say:‘Oh, I don’t want to get this wrong and book her in with someone whose name I don’t recognise. Could you suggest some other names and I’ll see if they ring a bell?’ She can then accept any other name, pretending that she recognises it.

Q. Thanks to a titan of industry, we have an independent cinema in our local town. I am part of a group of mostly retired cinema-goers, and the novelty of settling down in the comfy seats is slightly spoilt by the long running times of modern films, and needing to make the decision as to when to dash out to go to the loo. How can I solve this?

– S.H., Marlborough, Wiltshire

A. Download the app ‘runpee’ to your mobile phone. This will send you a vibratory notification 30 seconds before a suitable moment to take a ‘comfort break’ without missing a key scene. As you return to your seat, you can even catch a synopsis on the app of what you might have missed.