Real life
Meghan is a woman much misunderstood
Lying in bed with a swollen face, I decided that the best thing to do was nothing, so I ended…
Nothing beats a posh hospital room
The private hospital room in Chelsea was so relaxing I would have stayed for a week if it was affordable.…
I’m stuck in a house of madness
‘I want to learn Iranian,’ said my father, resolutely, as he watched the bombing on the television. ‘Farsi,’ I said,…
Being kind to my parents means saying no to them
After a week in Coventry dealing with two parents with dementia, it would have felt like a nice spa break…
My mother has become a hostile stranger
‘Do you know who I am?’ said the voice belonging to the lady who used to be my mother, crossly,…
The day Peter Mandelson tried to get me sacked
Assuming it was full of junk, I tried to pull the trunk out of the way but I couldn’t move…
I broke my phone… and then the repairman
The man in the phone repair shop smiled all too confidently and told me that there was nothing I could…
Has Ireland’s tourist board just killed my Airbnb?
The estate agent said that they would send someone round tomorrow and I had to calm them down. Come in…
Hell is a dog café
The dog café had a pretty pink sign describing its many services and I stood outside it mesmerised as I…
My house is devouring me (and my relationship)
The panic of another season bore down on me as the builder boyfriend painted the breakfast room with the green…
I judge judgmental people
The woman in the queue behind us in the supermarket glared angrily as my mother tried and failed to tap…
My parents have driven us to boiling point
After two weeks of us heating the house to the temperature my nearly 90-year-old father wanted it, the door to…
The ‘lovely boy’ who’s ruining our lives
We spent an hour in the Garda station trying to explain ourselves to a flame-haired police lady. She sat with…
On the trail of the White Lady
As we reached the top of the hill and saw the view in front of us my heart thumped so…
The power of tear pressure
The smashed pick-up truck was delivered back to us after I burst into tears and began wailing at the recovery…
The unexpected aftermath of the BB’s car crash
The garage owner came at me with an angry expression as I pulled on to his forecourt, which was the…
Why is Westminster Cathedral leaving Jesus in the dark?
Sitting beneath the looming darkness of the unfinished ceiling of Westminster Cathedral, I found myself praying. I didn’t even know…
The last B&B guests of the season
‘Where are you off to now?’ I asked the fellow from Hong Kong as he and his wife stood in…
Did our B&B guests smell a rat?
As I was showing a couple from Lincolnshire to their room, I smelt a rat. I don’t mean metaphorically, about…
The war over my grass verges
Hanging a pair of gates at the rear of the house gave us so much satisfaction, it suddenly seemed strange…
The failed evolution of the horse
The thoroughbred looked cross, with flared nostrils and a pinched expression, so I should have known what was about to…
I’ve been won over by a herbivore
‘Data-free vegans incoming by taxi,’ I texted the builder boyfriend, to alert him to the possibility of triple trouble. Quadruple…
The folly of solar panels
The house fell silent as the last of the tourists took their oat milk and pretend cheese from the guest…
Why are vegans so philosophically confused?
The solar panel fitter was eating his fried breakfast when the talkative vegans came into the kitchen. They surveyed his…
The curse of room three
The singer sped past me out of the gate, sending me flying as I tried to say goodbye. We’ve been…
