‘Oh André!’
André Rieu is a demigod among classical performing artists – and my mother loves him
Real life
Why won’t the middle classes shout at their dogs any more? My suspicion is that the bleeding heart liberals, having…
Real life
Aren’t the police getting younger nowadays — and ruder, and scruffier and more intolerant of middle-class women? In other words,…
Real life
The doctor eyed me suspiciously as I walked into her consulting room. ‘Ye-es?’ she said, nervously, eyeing me up and…
Simply Macnificent
‘I can’t tell you what a thrill it is to get this chance in life,’ said Christine McVie, as the…
Real life
Foolishly, I have this wild notion that one day, if the stars align in my favour, I might be able…
Real life
Andy the tech guy looked delighted when I told him I had done the stupidest thing ever. He is one…
Real life
You can’t always get what you want. And you can never get what you want if you want a phone…
Real life
The ‘I’m Voting For Chuka’ posters in my rich neighbours’ front windows pushed me over the edge. There is nothing…
Real life
In the seemingly endless search for somewhere nice to live in modern Britain, where parking is not subject to martial…
Miliband country
A ‘progressive alliance’ would be a profound threat to rural life
Real life
‘I suppose,’ said my dad philosophically, ‘I could always vote Green.’ ‘Oh, for goodness sake! Not you as well!’ I…
Real life
As a wise person once said (or if they didn’t, they should have), there is only one thing worse than…
Real life
By and large, I’m not really sure the world is ready for me to join the steering committee of a…
Real life
After I phoned the Aviva call centre for the ten thousandth time, a girl called Adele had to sort it…
Real life
Farewell then, Cobham. You were the place I ran to when the metropolis became too much, and urban life overwhelmed…
Real life
The builder boyfriend has a new girlfriend. I suppose he was bound to move on eventually. I just never thought…
Real life
Darcy was obviously listening to every word I said. After we got back from the ride from hell, in which…
Real life
All was going suspiciously well with the thoroughbred. I suppose it had to be the calm before the storm. I…
Real life
My request to see my medical notes was granted in the end. I honestly don’t know why I wanted to…
Real life
My request to see my medical notes has sparked all-out panic at the GP surgery. ‘What do you mean?’ said…
Real life
Never add up your insurance premiums. I just did and the annual cost of all of them came to more…
Click and flick
Romance is being killed off by the brutal marketplace of dating apps such as Tinder
Real life
‘Hello, Vodafone customer s…, can I h…you?’ This is typical, I thought. I’m ringing to complain about them charging me…
The Tooting poisoner
In my London neighbourhood, an argument about urban foxes is turning very nasty indeed
