Melissa Kite

Melissa Kite writes The Spectator's Real life column.

Real life

18 April 2015 9:00 am

By and large, I’m not really sure the world is ready for me to join the steering committee of a…

Real life

11 April 2015 9:00 am

After I phoned the Aviva call centre for the ten thousandth time, a girl called Adele had to sort it…

Real life

4 April 2015 9:00 am

Farewell then, Cobham. You were the place I ran to when the metropolis became too much, and urban life overwhelmed…

Real life

28 March 2015 9:00 am

The builder boyfriend has a new girlfriend. I suppose he was bound to move on eventually. I just never thought…

Real life

21 March 2015 9:00 am

Darcy was obviously listening to every word I said. After we got back from the ride from hell, in which…

Real life

14 March 2015 9:00 am

All was going suspiciously well with the thoroughbred. I suppose it had to be the calm before the storm. I…

Real life

7 March 2015 9:00 am

My request to see my medical notes was granted in the end. I honestly don’t know why I wanted to…

Real life

28 February 2015 9:00 am

My request to see my medical notes has sparked all-out panic at the GP surgery. ‘What do you mean?’ said…

Real life

21 February 2015 9:00 am

Never add up your insurance premiums. I just did and the annual cost of all of them came to more…

Click and flick

14 February 2015 9:00 am

Romance is being killed off by the brutal marketplace of dating apps such as Tinder

Real life

14 February 2015 9:00 am

‘Hello, Vodafone customer s…, can I h…you?’ This is typical, I thought. I’m ringing to complain about them charging me…

The Tooting poisoner

7 February 2015 9:00 am

In my London neighbourhood, an argument about urban foxes is turning very nasty indeed

Real life

7 February 2015 9:00 am

‘Orange 1-1-8 thousand how may I help you?’ said the cheerful voice. Carefree as you like, I asked for the…

Real life

31 January 2015 9:00 am

My iPad is dead, that’s what’s wrong with it. The plumage don’t enter into it. But since the blasted thing…

Real life

24 January 2015 9:00 am

My ponies may be psychic. I think they are communicating with each other telepathically. And before you call me delusional,…

Real life

17 January 2015 9:00 am

Clearly, I am going to have to report my broken mop handle to the authorities. It has been sitting outside…

Real life

10 January 2015 9:00 am

Every accident that happens to a horse is a freak accident. Rule number one. Once you grasp that as a…

Real life

3 January 2015 9:00 am

Draft and save. That is as good a New Year’s resolution as any. Never send an email or letter in…

Real life

13 December 2014 9:00 am

The countryside is all very well so long as you know you can leave it. Funnily enough, exactly the same…

How HS2 blights lives

6 December 2014 9:00 am

Whether the high-speed rail line is built or not, it is destroying the retirements of people like my parents

Real life

6 December 2014 9:00 am

After our spectacular season opener, the spaniel and I were on probation. Cydney, you may recall, retrieved a hen bird…

Real life

29 November 2014 9:00 am

The ambassador’s receptions are noted in society for their host’s exquisite taste that captivates guests. You know that, I know…

Real life

22 November 2014 9:00 am

Before I go any further, I would like to make clear that no animals were harmed in the making of…

Real life

15 November 2014 9:00 am

People don’t listen. It’s a relatively new thing. People used to listen, to varying degrees. You had your good listeners…

Real life

8 November 2014 9:00 am

Just before Cydney ran off and disgraced me on the first day of the shooting season, she covered herself in…