Click and flick
Romance is being killed off by the brutal marketplace of dating apps such as Tinder
Real life
‘Hello, Vodafone customer s…, can I h…you?’ This is typical, I thought. I’m ringing to complain about them charging me…
The Tooting poisoner
In my London neighbourhood, an argument about urban foxes is turning very nasty indeed
Real life
‘Orange 1-1-8 thousand how may I help you?’ said the cheerful voice. Carefree as you like, I asked for the…
Real life
My iPad is dead, that’s what’s wrong with it. The plumage don’t enter into it. But since the blasted thing…
Real life
My ponies may be psychic. I think they are communicating with each other telepathically. And before you call me delusional,…
Real life
Clearly, I am going to have to report my broken mop handle to the authorities. It has been sitting outside…
Real life
Every accident that happens to a horse is a freak accident. Rule number one. Once you grasp that as a…
Real life
Draft and save. That is as good a New Year’s resolution as any. Never send an email or letter in…
Real life
The countryside is all very well so long as you know you can leave it. Funnily enough, exactly the same…
How HS2 blights lives
Whether the high-speed rail line is built or not, it is destroying the retirements of people like my parents
Real life
After our spectacular season opener, the spaniel and I were on probation. Cydney, you may recall, retrieved a hen bird…
Real life
The ambassador’s receptions are noted in society for their host’s exquisite taste that captivates guests. You know that, I know…
Real life
Before I go any further, I would like to make clear that no animals were harmed in the making of…
Real life
People don’t listen. It’s a relatively new thing. People used to listen, to varying degrees. You had your good listeners…
Real life
Just before Cydney ran off and disgraced me on the first day of the shooting season, she covered herself in…
Real life
What is the point of the Dangerous Dogs Act when there is a man marauding with an illegal pit bull…
Real life
After four hours of driving, we should have been in the middle of Dartmoor. And yet we were not. We…
Real life
My London flat now has so little space in it I’ve begun storing stuff at the dry cleaners. Back in…
Real life
As the maître d’ ushered me into the packed restaurant, I leaned in close and intoned softly, so as not…
Real life
A letter arrives from the lawyers handling my defence in the phantom whiplash injury claim. It is now coming up…
Barking mad
Our attitude to animals and their suffering is bonkers
Real life
A crazy woman is living inside my head. It’s not just the normal crazy woman who camps out there from…
Real life
After a rush of blood to the head, I decided it might be a good idea to ask some awkward…
Real life
‘Let me get this straight,’ I said, looking my Slovakian friend in the eye. ‘You are going to go back…
