A ladder for everyone
Justine Greening says that the Conservatives will not win big until they really home in on social mobility
Real life
Incredible as it seems to me now, there was a time when a wolf whistle was annoying. A man would…
Real life
‘Hi I did Put it on It needed more’ is the pleasingly obscure haiku I find on my kitchen table.…
Real life
Strangely enough, I was in the middle of writing an article about the tactics used by the RSPCA when another…
Real life
The problem with not getting married, I am increasingly realising, is that you cannot get divorced. There is no mechanism…
Real life
A parcel has arrived addressed to ‘Cydney Kite’. The spaniel is ecstatic. She has never received her own mail before,…
Real life
With a heavy heart, I have just conducted my biannual lying session. I hate that I have to do this.…
Real life
As a rule, I tend not to frequent places where there is a sign on the door saying ‘no sharps’.…
A misogynistic reshuffle
The PM doesn’t want the new women in his cabinet to do anything but look nice
Real life
‘Cydney,’ I have just told the spaniel, ‘you had better enjoy this tin of dog food because it cost me…
Real life
‘I have a feeling,’ said my father, ‘that this evening is not going to go well.’ We were sitting in…
Real life
If we had to fight a war on the home front I’m fairly sure we would be stuffed. I base…
Killing jokes
We’re now so eager to take offence that humour is almost impossible
Real life
The vet arrived at the stable yard wearing his customary grin. He is the happiest man I know. Of course…
Real life
‘Well,’ said my gay lawyer friend Stephen as I pulled over to drop him off at Sloane Square Tube, ‘it’s…
Real life
‘And for my next trick,’ said the Volvo, as I parked at the supermarket and pulled the handle of the…
Real life
‘What is this, please?’ I said to the estate agent, as he showed me into the building site he was…
Real life
In the end, I threw my mobile phone into a sack of Chudley’s dog biscuits. It was the only way…
Real life
‘Ouch!’ said the ex-builder boyfriend. ‘I think something’s bitten me.’ And a few seconds after that, something bit me too.…
Real life
Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly fight any more battles, a pink planning notice is pinned to the lamp…
Real life
You know you’ve been irreversibly sucked into the ninth circle of horse-owning hell when you find yourself perusing an equine…
Real life
Really, I do wish people would stagger their baby-making. Absolutely every professional person whose services I have required in the…
Real life
The mechanic hooked the Volvo up to his special laptop. He had kindly offered to come to me in order…
Real life
‘Can I go and play with Twiggy?’ If dogs could talk, this is what my spaniel Cydney would be saying…
Real life
The Volvo has turned into a monster. It always did have a mind of its own. Fellow owners warned me…
