Q. Around this time of year a friend, who somehow gets hold of tickets through an agency, usually asks me last minute to Wimbledon. The trouble is that when she asks me it’s hard to gather whether or not she has managed to secure good seats because she doesn’t offer up this information. One year was perfection as we had shaded middle-tier seats, but last year we had an obstructed (pillar) view and I would rather have watched at home. I am sure there are those among her friends who would love to be there in any kind of seat so how, without sounding ungrateful or spoilt, can I ascertain what’s on offer before accepting?

– H.S., London SW6

A. First familiarise yourself with the court layouts and seat numbers. Then, if she invites, say: ‘What an incredible coincidence. I have just been speaking to X (a fictional friend). X has also managed to get last-minute seats. Tell me your seat numbers as she has told me hers.’ If the seats are good, cry: ‘Phew! they are nowhere near X as I’m really trying to avoid her. Thank you, I would love to come.’ If they are bad, cry: ‘They are right next to X. Do you mind if I say no?’ If asked what X has done wrong, say: ‘Do you mind if I don’t tell you?’ Incidentally you are ungrateful and spoilt.

Q. My parents have kindly offered to pay for a party for me in South Kensington with drinks and large canapés for up to 150. It seems that the caterers would need to know how many are coming but almost every one of my friends would be hopeless about RSVPing. Any ideas?

– F.W., London SW11

A. The young are confused by RSVP. Some think it means ‘only reply if you are coming’. With imaginations stunted by tech they can’t think ahead to the event in question. When they finally decide they do want to come, they don’t know the formula for replying. Your invitation should drop the French and say firmly: PLEASE REPLY WHETHER YES OR NO.

Q. I lead adult education groups around historic sites. I was recently giving a short lecture in a medieval church when a member of my party interrupted. She said that she was a pagan and was receiving messages from the dead telling her that she should leave the church. She waited for my response but I was dumbfounded. So she made a sharp exit. On the one hand, I didn’t want to ‘disrespect’ a paying member of my learning group. On the other, I didn’t want to disrupt my talk by engaging in this absurdity. What should I have said?

– L.G., Oxford

A. In solemn tones: ‘Let us have a moment’s silence to acknowledge this development…’ Give, literally, a moment, before proceeding with your talk.