Dear Mary
Dear Mary: How should one react when someone invites you to an expensive restaurant — then lets you pay the bill?
Q. Further to your advice about how to refuse invitations, I had a friend, who sadly died young, who disliked…
Dear Mary: How do I stop men sending me articles from the Guardian?
Q. It is difficult to know what to do when homeless people ask you for cash as you are leaving…
Dear Mary: How should I deal with a friend who leaves appalling comments on Facebook?
Q. Friends and I keep in touch and share our more memorable experiences on Facebook. One friend is an elderly…
Dear Mary: How do I handle the dreaded ‘B word’ at supper parties?
Q. I have lost many friends and acquaintances by discussing Brexit and finding fundamental differences of opinion. Recently I have…
Dear Mary: How can I stop the book club gossip from snooping around my house?
Q. One of the members of our book club is particularly nosy and gossipy. I like this woman, but when…
Dear Mary: Is it ever acceptable to blow my own trumpet?
Q. A friend of 30 years moved abroad three years ago. He then was diagnosed with throat cancer but mercifully…
Dear Mary: How do I stop people cadging cigarettes off me?
Q. My mother died a few months ago. Her collection of colourful clothes, hats, shoes and an immense amount of…
Dear Mary: I won a bet – how do I make my friend pay up?
Q. A delightful but disorganised friend has invited several of our circle for a weekend at his family’s beautiful country…
Dear Mary: What should I do when my host won’t serve the champagne I brought?
Q. Was I right to feel aggrieved when, having contributed a bottle of fine champagne to a small supper party,…
Dear Mary: I’m disabled – how can I stop my carer being so controlling?
Q. I am a disabled man with a good brain and an independent bent. However, I need help to wash…
Dear Mary: What should you do when friends invite you to lunch but don’t offer wine?
Q. I was invited to birthday drinks in London. On my way there the name of someone I haven’t heard…
Dear Mary: did our friends regift us out-of-date chocolates?
Q. A university friend and I want to get an invitation to a very good shoot owned by a colleague…
Dear Mary: how can I tell my chatty masseur to stop talking?
Q. Like many of his profession, Manolo, my most-proficient masseur, has the gift of the gab and maintains a garrulous…
Dear Mary: how can I stop myself procrastinating?
Q. I am not a professional writer but on the strength of a short piece I contributed to a Festschrift…
Dear Mary: how can I make my timid husband ask for a longer haircut?
Q. We sent out email invitations to our drinks party and have had too many acceptances. The venue has said…
Dear Mary: how can I stop my husband from hijacking my punchlines?
Q. A woman I’ve known for years is getting divorced and rings me every day to talk about it. I…
Dear Mary: how do I stop my minister giving sermons about Brexit?
Q. I belong to a religious congregation whose minister is politically minded. Every time I attend a service, I am…
Dear Mary: how do I stop a man making lewd comments?
Q. My wife’s closest friend and her husband visit us every couple of months or so. Without fail he will…
Dear Mary: what’s the polite way to ascertain someone’s gender?
Q. When my mother was widowed ten years ago she decided to take in lodgers to pay the gardener’s bills…
Dear Mary: what should we do about a possible thief in our school dormitory?
Q. I run a very small mail-order company from home. Recently I received an exceptionally rude email from a disgruntled…
Dear Mary: Plastic or wooden loo seats?
Q. Please advise on how I can move on from a social impasse. My best friend of 50 years claims…
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Dear Mary: how can I hide that I’m no longer drinking?
Q. I have given up drink except on certain occasions when it would be really rude to refuse. What’s the…
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Dear Mary: How can I get my annoying children to answer my texts?
Q. I have learned through a third party that a friend, who is feeling particularly insecure these days, has not been…
Dear Mary: How can I deal with an aggressive Big Issue seller?
Q. I wondered if you could advise me on a rather embarrassing situation please. I sing in my local Church…
Dear Mary: Should I ever tip at a private club?
Q. I am an artist living in the UK and was charmed to be invited by a fellow artist, a…
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