Dear Mary
Dear Mary: How can we use our neighbour’s tennis court without inviting him to play?
Q. Our neighbours have a tennis court which, under the property’s previous owner, we enjoyed playing men’s fours on. The…
Dear Mary: How do I reject a wedding invitation without causing offence?
Q. I have just been invited to a wedding where the groom will be the only person I know. Much…
Dear Mary: How do we stop chatty workmen from disturbing us?
Q. I have been working (from home) for a TV comedy production company for a year. My job is scouting…
Dear Mary: how do we deal with a neighbour who is stealing our friends?
Q. A dear friend of long-standing has a propensity to make friends of our friends — people she has first…
Dear Mary: How can I prioritise ‘first division’ friends after lockdown?
Q. Before Covid, I was staying with friends in the country every other weekend. As a single man living in…
Dear Mary: What should my wife and I do with the risque photos we took in our youth?
Q. I hesitate to bring you this problem, but I suspect it is not that uncommon. Early in our very…
Dear Mary: How do I tell my neighbour she’s let herself go in lockdown?
Q. Recently an old acquaintance, notorious for never penning a ‘thank you’ note, emailed me telling me he was being…
Dear Mary: How do we stop our friend letting herself in to our house?
Q. Our friend lives far away, but comes to stay at her country place nearby several times a year. Some…
Dear Mary: Why is my 87-year-old mother emailing me risque jokes?
Q. My mother, aged 87, has taken to forwarding me by email slightly risqué jokes. Her carer is the recipient…
Dear Mary: What should I do about my husband’s schoolboy table habits?
Q. My husband has always worked extremely hard and now does so from home — so I go to great…
Dear Mary: Is my husband’s forgetfulness about fastening his flies costing us friends?
Q. I was instrumental in finding some much-needed work for a local retired secretary/PA when I recommended her for the…
Dear Mary: How can I deter acquaintances who want to stop and chat?
Q. There is a Tube stop next door to my place of work but I now walk in each day.…
Dear Mary: How do we thank a friend when we’ve forgotten what they sent us?
Q. Following the birth of our child we were deluged with cards, gifts and money from kind family and friends.…
Dear Mary: How can we set up our single friends in lockdown?
Q. My husband and I have two single friends who we believe should be introduced. In days gone by, we…
Dear Mary: Should I rename my grandmother’s dog to avoid offense?
Your problems solved
Dear Mary, from Joanna Lumley: what should I do with my excess Christmas cards?
From Joanna Lumley Q. We receive a huge number of Christmas cards every year. When I take them all down…
Dear Mary: Should I give my postman a Christmas present?
Q. I am extremely fond of an artist friend, despite the fact that I have never liked her work or…
Dear Mary: How do I stop the cleaner ‘helping’ with my jigsaw?
Q. Unlike my wife, I am tiring of Netflix. Wanting a project to occupy me during these long dark nights,…
Dear Mary: How can I stop my boss giving me a Christmas hamper?
Q. For many years my boss gave each member of his small team a very generous Christmas gift voucher from…
Dear Mary: Will my friend be offended if I buy her an XL dress?
Q. My son has moved his girlfriend into our fairly small house for the second lockdown. I am grateful for…
Dear Mary: How do I cope with cooking for food snobs?
Q. I have a delightful young goddaughter who, thanks to the virus, I have not seen since last year. Her…
Dear Mary: How can I wind up a Zoom call with a chatty friend?
Q. Is there a tactful way to wind up a Zoom call when one of you has more time on…
Dear Mary: Why is my brother making me pay £400 for a drawing of my cat?
Q. I would welcome your advice on a tricky family matter. For my 70th birthday earlier this year my brother…
Dear Mary: Can I still socialise with my virus-denying friends?
Q. An old friend offered to treat me to a birthday lunch, provided I choose and book the restaurant myself.…
Dear Mary: We’ve had to downsize our wedding – can we still ask everyone for presents?
Q. A year ago we sent out 150 save-the-date notices for our wedding this December. We are still going ahead,…
