And to think that we were under the impression that The SMAge’s target demographic was neurotic single women aged 18-45. No, no, no. It’s primary school children. “Like, what’s the point of, like, the budget?”

Let’s start… While it’s true most of us have primary health care and social welfare operations in our households — child and aged care — these are scarcely multi-billion affairs. They tend to  be small scale, involving Band-Aids, Panadol for Kids, a nanny one or two days a week or helping Mum and Dad or great aunt Doris get some extra help around the house, driving them to appointments and sometimes mowing their lawns.

Unless we’re, say, Bob Carr or Daniel Andrews, we don’t pursue our own independent foreign policy. That saves on all those embassies, let alone diplomats and canapes.

And if you do happen to have an F-35 hidden under a tarpaulin in the garage, that’s really more a matter for ASIO or the AFP than anything to do with economics. You’ll have more to worry about than the rego and running costs.

That help?