It goes without saying that reading mainstream American news has become both pointless and profoundly depressing since the election of Joseph R. Biden. The overriding message, as far as I can glean, is that the world should be overwhelmed with gratitude upon daily remembrance that Biden is now president. Should you have any reservations whatsoever about the legitimacy of the vote or the behavior of the House Democrats over the last four years you are most welcome to eat shit and die because you’re a right-wing extremist and you lost. The coup failed, democracy prevailed, fascism has been defeated and banished from these shores forevermore!
I get it. We’re a bunch of filthy pack animals who get a dopamine buzz when our side wins and the other side loses. Republicans lost the election and the Senate majority and should therefore — by the rules of the jungle and the editorial policy of 92 percent of all mainstream media in the country — have their noses rubbed in it for as long as possible.
There is however the curious case of the unlucky suckers who get exactly what they want and end up losing out anyway. By this I mean there is a non-trivial cohort of Biden voters who will have objectively worse lives as a direct result of voting for Biden. Of course, laughing at the misfortune of others is not very civilized and can only degrade the quality of political interaction in any society. That being said, how much further have we yet to slide? We’re all horrible people and the damage has already been done, so in this case I think it’s fine to get a shot of pure schadenfreude right to the median cubital.
Should we consider the case of New Mexico, where the newly minted fracking ban will probably put a gaping and irreparable hole in the state budget? Of course, these bans apply only to federal lands, so any company wanting to drill hard and often can just direct all activity to the Texan side of the border. Is it really true that 55 percent of voters in New Mexico dearly desired a fracking ban and the possibly permanent loss of so much state revenue? Perhaps we are entering some new age of Enlightenment and the good people of the Land of Enchantment long for a more ascetic life in service of a Green New Deal where all energy flows naturally from the sun and wind.
Even more depressing — if only just — is the case of the United Association of Union Plumbers and Pipefitters who urged all union members to back Biden only to have his administration promptly revoke the border crossing permit for the Keystone XL pipeline and send thousands of union jobs down the toilet. It does remain to be explained just why anyone remotely connected to an oil or gas project could rationalize a vote for Biden given he’s been pretty unequivocal about decimating the whole industry. Talk about reading the fine print guys!
How about everyone who backed Biden in a last-ditch attempt to have a president take serious action on the pandemic? It must be said that Biden talked a big game prior to the election, laying out quite the plan on how exactly he’d defeat a pandemic that has been defeated in practically zero percent of all countries who have made a serious attempt to do so. Well, for those punters desperate for action on COVID, Biden has the heartwarming message you waited all those cold months to hear: nothing can be done and the death toll can’t be halted baby! No doubt everyone who contracts COVID from this point on will be greatly comforted by the inarguable reality that the pandemic started during the Trump presidency.
All this after just over a week of 46 — oh the fun that awaits! But, as the people of California assiduously demonstrate, no amount of Democratic governance is enough for some people. We can only hope that Hunter is found to have committed no tax malarkey and will remain available to continue the Biden dynasty in 2024.
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