Flat White

Shock, horror: there’s humping on the Hill

13 February 2018

8:46 PM

13 February 2018

8:46 PM

Sometimes you need to take a step back from the rapid, racing political commentary and chuckle at the bogus make-believe falling out of people’s mouths.

Why is anyone attempting to feign surprise that people are, in fact, people even when their pockets are lined with diamonds and they play at politics?

Wake up: this is what people do, especially when copious amounts of alcohol are involved.

Sam Dastyari just couldn’t stay silent for any longer, he just couldn’t wait to get back behind a mic and blab.

Eagerly unzipping his mouth after a period of silence, the former Labor performer zealously waded into the Barnaby Joyce faux scandal. “The reality is, the amount of rooting that goes on in a place like Canberra…” he told Kyle and Jackie O on radio yesterday morning. “In terms of unhealthy workplaces, it’s one of the most unhealthy workplaces in the country.”


Ok, zip it up there Dastyari, just for a minute: what is your frame of reference? How many workplaces across this fine country do we imagine he has sampled?

“You’ve got 4000 people in this building called Parliament, which is mostly just journos, staffers, politicians, living in this strange work of kind of alcohol and late nights and sitting around and everyone is telling each other how important they are all the time… all of it fuels this really weird environment.”

Weird compared to what?

The only people who will be shocked by slippery Sam’s supposedly sizzling snitching are the same who pretended to be horrified by behaviour at the Presidents Club in London.

When asked if a lot of people were sleeping with each other in Canberra, Dastyari replied, “Of course.”

Mic drop, not.

No one with any brain is surprised – nor anyone with any life experience.

This whole dizzy dancing routine over Joyce’s situation is a short-lived fool’s paradise. Glasshouses aren’t only constructed in Canberra.

Truth is: Joyce is not the only politician to have had, or be having an affair. Anyone who says they’re surprised by Dastyari’s blabbering is either a liar, a preacher, or really needs to get outside their chilly air-conditioned boardroom more often.

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