It is indeed ironical that the first policy initiative of a government born in treachery and dishonour would be about the honours system. Unlike Cromwell’s ‘cruel necessity’, this coup was a human manifestation of the kleptoparasitism found among robber birds who ruthlessly take over other birds’ nests.

The only reason why the Lord Protector has the keys to the Lodge is because of Tony Abbott’s dramatic resurrection of the Liberal Party and his delivery of policies crucial to the nation.