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An all-female cabinet? Insert your own joke here

17 August 2019 9:00 am

I wonder what Jacques Derrida would have made of the new leader of the UK Independence party? In the philosopher’s…

The only time I was ever spiked was when I called Jeffrey Epstein a raging paedophile

Another birthday has got me down, but the alternative is being dead

17 August 2019 9:00 am

If it hadn’t arrived I’d be dead, but it was hardly welcome: another birthday — 38 years old on 11…

Within 24 hours of my positive diagnosis I was back with Catriona in beautiful Brignoles (illustration, 1873)

A day spent in Oncology

17 August 2019 9:00 am

A 20-minute drive through quiet country lanes then suddenly a madcap roundabout and teeming new ring road and finally the…

Perhaps my mattress is in Texas? Wayfair employees stage a walkout over the company’s supply of beds to a detention centre for migrant children

I’ve always enjoyed myself on Wayfair – but this time I’ve had enough

17 August 2019 9:00 am

One thing Lorraine Kelly does not say in the Wayfair advert is: ‘What if I fancy getting my money back…

Credit: scaliger

Standing on the Acropolis brings out the Greek in me

10 August 2019 9:00 am

Athens I am struggling up the slippery marble steps of the Acropolis with the Geldofs and the Bismarcks. We gaze…

Credit: mingazitdinov

Do I have cancer in my left eye?

10 August 2019 9:00 am

My luck had to run out one of these fine days. Everybody’s does sooner or later. I’ve had a fantastic…

Credit: whitemay

The travellers could teach the locals a thing or two about being responsible citizens

10 August 2019 9:00 am

The travellers were blamed for fly-tipping when all that was left on the common after they went back up north…

Boris may end up delivering Corbyn

3 August 2019 9:00 am

Alastair Campbell has written a longish ‘open’ letter to Jeremy Corbyn, helpfully explaining why he has decided not to contest…

Words of wisdom, and plenty of them, from the Irishman who saved Africa

Chatting to Bob Geldof about Boris and Brexit

3 August 2019 9:00 am

Coronis   We are steaming on Puritan towards the private isle of Coronis for a long Pugs weekend and the…

Dartmoor Prison: nice setting, but only for a visit

A trip to Dartmoor Prison with my grandson and his cousin

3 August 2019 9:00 am

My grandson Oscar (nine) shares a bedroom with his cousin Lucas (eight) and sits next to him at school. Before…

No village fête for us this year!

The village fête has been cancelled due to an ‘unauthorised incursion’

3 August 2019 9:00 am

The village fête had to be cancelled because of what they called an ‘incursion’ on to the green. The way…

We’ve made morons of our police force

27 July 2019 9:00 am

I never believed Carl Beech’s allegations that he had suffered multiple depravities, including sexual abuse, at the hands of various…

The ethnicity pay gap just doesn’t add up

20 July 2019 9:00 am

I suppose it was a bit naive to wander on to Newsnight having been booked to talk about Brexit and…

Let’s choose our politicians by random selection

20 July 2019 9:00 am

Athens Standing right below the Acropolis, where pure democracy began because public officials were elected by lot, I try to…

Italy, in seven hours and five trains

20 July 2019 9:00 am

The train standing at platform 1A had no air-conditioning and the heat was stupefying. Latecomers pressing into the carriage reacted…

Why won’t the police acknowledge that speeding coppers are a liability?

20 July 2019 9:00 am

For a while, it seemed as if the only words my beloved would ever say again were ‘chicken Kievs’. Two…

I’m starting a trade union for intellectuals

20 July 2019 9:00 am

I have just returned from Minneapolis after attending the annual conference of the International Society for Intelligence Research. That’s ‘intelligence’…

End this hate speech against my community

13 July 2019 9:00 am

I am a football fan. Each fortnight I go to watch my club and, like the overwhelming majority of the…

Coco Gauff won fair and square, but she played terrible tennis

13 July 2019 9:00 am

Martina Navratilova has never been shy about telling it like it is. She came out when other athletes were hiding…

Tuscany’s killer climate

13 July 2019 9:00 am

The hotel manager had arranged for me to borrow an Alfa Romeo Spider Duetto two-seater convertible (1982) for the afternoon.…

Not going to the osteopath cured me

13 July 2019 9:00 am

Not going to the osteopath worked a treat. Walking out of that surgery after hearing the crunching coming from inside…

Credit: drante

The death of free thought

6 July 2019 9:00 am

Hold the presses, this is a world exclusive. A Boris ex I sat next to last week gave me the…

Credit: Dean Mitchell

Why can’t my mother be allowed to die at home

6 July 2019 9:00 am

As they say: it all happened so quickly that it wasn’t until afterwards. One minute I was bawling at my…

Was this guy a mystical healer or was he addicted to crunching people’s bones? Credit: Fox Photos / Stringer/Getty Images

Is my osteopath a psychopath or a mystical healer?

6 July 2019 9:00 am

Either the osteopath is a psychopath or he is the second coming. I see no other possibility. I turned up…

Why I’m not convinced by Boris

29 June 2019 9:00 am

I had never heard of Mark Field until he was suspended for removing, in a commendably vigorous manner, the Greenpeace…