Relationships
The secret life of my friend Evelyn
Provence It’s difficult to believe that Evelyn will be 90 in a few months’ time. I’ve known her for more…
An elegy for my libido
I’m not sure when my libido first began to decline. It was probably during the pandemic, so it went unnoticed…
My advice to the next generation
Everyone went to the same school as someone famous. In my case it’s Spider-Man, Tom Holland, who joined my former…
No sex please, we’re Gen Z
For many years now we have all been agonising over the fertility crisis. Why aren’t the kids having kids? It’s…
Christmas with my soon-to-be-ex-wife
I didn’t force any hyacinths this Christmas. Most years I plant a dozen bulbs at the end of September and…
Marriage is the real rebellion
Jonathan Swift had a suitably unromantic attitude to holy matrimony. Once, when sheltering under a tree during a storm near…
The art of having no friends
Apparently it’s easy to make money on YouTube by teaching a course in your specialism. Mine is having no friends.…
Confessions of a reformed polyamorist
There is an adage, attributed to author Robert Heinlein, that every generation thinks it invented sex. This often means finding…
Never date a German man
Call me unpatriotic but, although I’m German, nothing could ever have persuaded me to date a German man. I married…
Could you fall in love with a chatbot?
Jason, 45, has been divorced twice. He’d always struggled with relationships. In despair, he consulted ChatGPT. At first, it was…
I’ve rekindled my love affair with England
Late spring. Sitting in the armchair in the living room, I was chilly and disconsolate. My middle daughter was seven-and-a-half…
The secret to ‘womankeeping’
God, men are pathetic. At least, that’s the view of Angelica Puzio Ferrara, a researcher at Stanford, who has come…
My first ever blind date
Four of us go for lunch once a month. My hippy ceramist neighbour, Geoffrey, is a foodie and one of…
Why OnlyFans has young British women in its grip
The porn star Bonnie Blue offers a straightforward explanation for her decision to join OnlyFans. She was in her early…
The naked truth about life modelling
When I left university, I prepared for a short spell of poverty while I sent off amusing and opinionated articles…
Two years without Jeremy Clarke
Two years ago, at five to eight in the evening of Monday 22 May 2023, I ran into the department…
In defence of virgins
If we were really an island of strangers, as Sir Keir Starmer attested this week, then it might be OK.…
Pope Francis, my love rival
To be honest, I felt relief when Pope Francis died. This had nothing much to do with his regular assertion,…
Why don’t men ask questions?
I’ll bet most women under 50 in relationships with men have found themselves wondering when on earth the man is…
Are you a ‘tidsoptimist’?
Last week Caroline sent me an Instagram reel that featured a Norwegian word and its English translation. A ‘tidsoptimist’, I…
Is there sex after 70?
When I turned 70 in September, I had a panic attack. I was certain that my romantic life was over.…
How to find your perfect man
My late parents perpetually promoted their marriage as the best in the history of the universe. Because this cult of…
How to get your husband to do the vacuuming
This column nearly didn’t happen. Just as I sat down to write, disaster! My dishwasher lost its connection to the…
Have I been blacklisted by the binmen?
Monday, and Camden council have yet again failed to empty my food waste bin. They never miss my rubbish or…
Good portraiture can reveal uncomfortable truths
My eldest daughter and her family are moving from a three-bedroom Art Deco semi with a garden and garage on…
