Etiquette
Dear Mary: How do I stop rabbits eating Mum’s graveside flowers?
Q. A difficult couple of our acquaintance always object to other guests at dinner and can be very rude to…
Dear Mary: What can I do about loud train snorers?
Q. At every drinks party one will be in mid-conversation with another guest and someone will walk over and loiter…
Dear Mary: How can I face the friends who warned me that my girlfriend would dump me?
Q. Previously a long-term and content single man, earlier in the year I began a relationship with a wonderful girl,…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my wife from sabotaging my anecdotes?
Q. My wife and I have been married for 50 years. The marriage is basically sound but she has recently…
Dear Mary: My friend’s cooked breakfasts make me gag
Q. My fiancé and I spend many great weekends with another couple. I am a vegetarian and quite particular about…
My long gossipy letters to an old friend get just a few words in response
Q. An old friend shares aesthetic sensibilities and tastes in people. Hence we have sustained a highly enjoyable correspondence over…
Dear Mary: what do you say to neighbours who find you in your nightdress?
Q. I recently gave a jolly dinner for eight friends (some old, some rather famous), all home cooking, ending with…
Dear Mary: Is it really forbidden to eat with a fork’s tines facing upwards?
Q. My husband and I have been invited to the birthday party of a distinguished public figure with whom we…
My faux pas at the Duke of Beaufort’s bash
A letter from a reader in South Africa mentions that the writer’s father insisted a white dinner jacket was permissible…
Dear Mary: I had £300 stolen while at a friend’s house. Should I tell them?
Q. Following a small dinner last night in a private house, I got home to find £300 missing from my…
Dear Mary: I can’t put names to faces – and it’s starting to upset friends
Q. I am in my mid-sixties and have started to suffer from nominal aphasia. At a recent wedding in the…
Dear Mary: How can I weed out the party ‘flakes’?
Q. I invited four younger colleagues, all in their mid to late thirties, to go for a meal at a…
Dear Mary: How do we evict a narcissistic flatmate without starting World War III?
Q. I live in a houseshare with two other people; one of whom I am very fond of and the…
Dear Mary: What do I say when people want to visit my family’s stately home for free?
Q. My husband and I were among the first to arrive at a recent large house party in Scotland. We…
How should you deal with a competitive best friend?
Q. Good friends, who moved away from our city suburb a couple of years ago, retain a pied-à-terre the better…
Dear Mary: My friend always has food around his mouth. How can I help him?
Q. A dear friend of my husband, a shy bachelor, is an acquired taste. Once you acquire it you are…
Dear Mary: How do you deal with a monologuing fellow guest on board a yacht?
Q. A long-standing friend has an admirer of some means. He has invited her to borrow his fully staffed and…
Dear Mary: How does a Wimbledon ball girl deal with a disgusting player?
Q. I’ve accepted an invitation to stay in a small house party in France. My host hasn’t mentioned who else…
Dear Mary: What is the correct form when you find someone hiding from you in a cupboard?
Q. Is there a tactful way to ask people with whom you’ve been interacting on an almost daily basis over…
Dear Mary: Is it vulgar to give money as a wedding gift?
Q. I work at a desk by a window which looks out on to the street where I live. I…
Dear Mary: As best man, can I seduce the groom’s sister?
Q. We often take friends to what my husband calls a ‘poncey’ pub which has won numerous awards and where…
Dear Mary: How can I explain the cushion I must take everywhere to sit on?
Q. I have incurable, inoperable back pain that severely hinders my ability to sit and necessitates my taking a cushion…
Dear Mary: How can I pin down flakey party-goers?
Q. My 50th birthday is looming and I am hosting a small dinner in a restaurant. This has proved challenging…
Dear Mary: our son’s future in-laws want to play social oneupmanship with us
Q. We were about to send off to the printers the invitation for our son’s wedding (we agreed to do…
Dear Mary: How do we deal with our host’s sudden, terrifying rages?
Q. Along with five of my favourite people, I’ve been invited again to what should be an idyllic house party…
