Darcy
Are my horses conspiring against me?
When it comes to horses, troubles come in multitudes. Multitudes of lame legs. Gracie, the hunter pony, kicked things off…
I am handmaiden to a foul-mouthed member of the royal family
Some people call their house Dun Roamin’ to sum up their state of mind. After ten weeks ministering to my…
I am keeping the vet in work all on my own
If you are the sort of person who enjoys tinkering with a classic car prone to myriad mechanical problems then…
My horse's race career hangs by a tendon
‘Racing is 99.9 per cent disappointment,’ said the trainer philosophically, as I sat in the yard sipping coffee, waiting for…
Five little words that signify catastrophe
Darcy trod on a screw. Five little words which, if Darcy was anything other than a thoroughbred horse, might signify…
Doing The Birdie Song on the back of a trainee racehorse
‘Start at the back and try to pass as many horses as you can,’ said the trainer, as we stepped…
If there were bones sticking out, I’m out — midlife crisis or no midlife crisis
‘This is a two Voltarol day,’ I thought, as I popped another pill and settled into the bath after Darcy’s…
From Darcy's first gallop, I was addicted to speed
The young lad behind the counter of the betting shop looked at me askance. ‘This horse is 200–1.’ ‘Yes. I…
I rode my own racehorse and was changed for ever
‘The last owner who tried to ride his own horse got tanked,’ said the trainer, looking up at me as…
I held my breath ready for the explosion. But no explosion came
Darcy was obviously listening to every word I said. After we got back from the ride from hell, in which…
A lot of animal lovers go on about how great it is to rescue a horse from the racing industry
All was going suspiciously well with the thoroughbred. I suppose it had to be the calm before the storm. I…
I’m opening the pony X-Files: mine may be psychic
My ponies may be psychic. I think they are communicating with each other telepathically. And before you call me delusional,…
Rule number one for horse-owners: every accident that happens to a horse is a freak accident
Every accident that happens to a horse is a freak accident. Rule number one. Once you grasp that as a…
I accidentally bought a racehorse. Would you like to join a syndicate?
This horse-rearing business is not for the faint-hearted. I don’t know what I was thinking when I bought an eight-month-old…
