‘Which is the correct remote for watching Downton Abbey?’

Remote

14 September 2013 9:00 am

‘I must say, I preferred 50 Shades of Grey.’

Bondage

14 September 2013 9:00 am

Snow White and the seven trolls

Trolls

14 September 2013 9:00 am

‘It’s OK for you but I’ve got nine life sentences to serve.’

Sentences

14 September 2013 9:00 am

Soup

14 September 2013 9:00 am

Dummies

14 September 2013 9:00 am

Cuts

14 September 2013 9:00 am

‘I had a problem with the ending. It doesn’t come quickly enough.’

Ending

14 September 2013 9:00 am

‘But we only have three rabbits. Do we really need a gamekeeper?’

Gamekeeper

14 September 2013 9:00 am

‘Miss Harkness, remind me, at our last board meeting who scratched my back?’

Scratch

14 September 2013 9:00 am

Rake

14 September 2013 9:00 am

‘…and to my wife I leave my entire jazz collection.’

Solicitors

14 September 2013 9:00 am

‘Monday’s no good, I’ve got Sex Addicts Anonymous, Tuesday it’s my AA meeting, Thursday’s Gamblers Anonymous and Friday’s Narcotics Anonymous. You know, sometimes I think I might have an addictive personality.’

Calendar

14 September 2013 9:00 am

‘Arrrgghh! Good light stops play!’

Vampires

14 September 2013 9:00 am

‘The old duffer needs cue cards for everything!’

Moses

14 September 2013 9:00 am

huff

7 September 2013 9:00 am

‘Look at that — smooth as a prime minister’s chest.’

Babies

31 August 2013 9:00 am

Clipboards

31 August 2013 9:00 am

Surround sound

Surround

31 August 2013 9:00 am

Badgers

31 August 2013 9:00 am

Battle

31 August 2013 9:00 am

‘Here comes another equal pay request.’

Boadicea

31 August 2013 9:00 am

‘You’ve been supergluing yourself to other women!’

Fracking

31 August 2013 9:00 am

‘Don’t come in! I’m changing.’

Metamorphosis

31 August 2013 9:00 am

‘Why do I always fall for bad boys? He’s a fracking engineer.’

Fracking2

31 August 2013 9:00 am