‘Good evening. My name is 10.453.82 and I’ll be your server.’

Dinner

19 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘Do you think His Majesty might be interested in some erotic wall tapestries?’

Tapestries

19 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘Does it say which six?’

Wine danger

19 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘I’m War, and this is Cyber War, Cold War and Proxy War.’

Wars

19 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘I’m the war correspondent for Playboy.’

Trump

19 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘A man has a right to defend himself in his own home, Verity.’

Defence

19 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘Sorry if it shatters the illusion but today is our collection day.’

Gates

19 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘Oh my god, it really is as good as our forefathers told us.’

Birds

19 April 2018 1:00 pm

Peacock

19 April 2018 1:00 pm

Plastic bottles

19 April 2018 1:00 pm

Snakes

19 April 2018 1:00 pm

Worship

12 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘Sadly, I was shocked out of my smug bourgeois complacency long ago.’

Art

12 April 2018 1:00 pm

Little Bo-Peeps

Little Bo-Peep

12 April 2018 1:00 pm

Flat earth

12 April 2018 1:00 pm

Polarisation

12 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘I need more space.’

More space

12 April 2018 1:00 pm

Then and now

12 April 2018 1:00 pm

London gun crime

12 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘She says, have you fixed the bathroom door yet?’

Bathroom door

12 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘On second thoughts, I’ll give porridge theft a miss.’

Cottage

12 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘Now run along and remember — no inappropriate sniffing.’

Dog

12 April 2018 1:00 pm

Kremlin

5 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘We need an expert on the dangers of computers. Send for Damian Green!’

Cobra

5 April 2018 1:00 pm

‘And on your left you can see another stabbing...’

Stabbings

5 April 2018 1:00 pm