Mind your language
No crib for a bed
I could never understand as a little girl why we sang: ‘Away in a manger, no crib for a bed.’…
Control
In his speech on immigration last week, David Cameron said a couple of funny things. I’m not talking about the…
Respect
‘Respect!’ cried my husband, drop-kicking a cushion with a picture of the Queen Mother holding a pint of beer on…
Reem
Joey Essex is a celebrity who appeared in the ‘scripted reality’ programme The Only Way is Essex, named not after…
Incident
I had thought that the saying ‘Accidents will happen in the best regulated families’ was a vulgar reference to children…
Suicide
There was a marvellous man in Shakespeare’s day known as John Smyth the Sebaptist. ‘In an act so deeply shocking…
Anachronisms
I read C.J. Sansom’s novel Dissolution on the train recently with pleasure. For an historical novel narrated in the 1530s,…
Ebola
It should perhaps be called Yambuku fever, since that was the village in Zaire (as it was then, now the…
What’s sauce for the goose…
‘Goosey, goosey gander,’ my husband shouted at the television, like someone from Gogglebox. It’s not so much that he thinks…
Dull
At least I’ve got my husband’s Christmas present sorted out: the Dull Men of Great Britain calendar. It is no…
Mark Reckless
When I first heard ‘Wonderwall’ being played in a public house, in 1995 I suppose, I thought it was some…
The Islamic State
I’m puzzled by the dropping of the one part of the name of the Islamic State that seems certain. That…
Never
He won’t be remembered as Lord Bannside, but Ian Paisley will be remembered for shouting: ‘Never, never, never, never.’ The…
Knee-jerk
A little joke by Paddy, Lord Ashdown of Norton-sub-Hamdon, turned upon something to be shunned. Conservative ministers, he said, had…
Escalated
Shaun Wright, the police and crime commissioner for South Yorkshire, spoke to Sky television last week about how little he…
Bitter
‘Don’t mind if I do,’ is one of husband’s stock phrases — jokes he would think them — in this…
Humanitarian
‘Our first priority,’ David Cameron said this week, ‘has of course been to deal with the acute humanitarian crisis in…
Stand
‘Boris Johnson broke cover yesterday to declare that he will run for parliament,’ the Times reported last week. The Mirror…
Pre-diabetes
‘Pre-diabetes is an artificial category with virtually zero clinical relevance,’ said an American professor in the Times. A friend of…
Mrs
I don’t much care for being called Wordsworth. Oh, the name is rather distinguished, though it came from my husband,…
Autonomy
My husband is constantly amused by talk of patient autonomy — for people who want to have a limb lopped…
Toe-rag
‘I am glad to say that I have never seen a toe-rag,’ said my husband, assuming, as unconvincingly as one…
Cost of living
Labour’s appeal to the cost of living has a rather old-fashioned feel to it: as if the whole nation still…
Diffuse
It’s funny how people hardly know what they are saying. I read recently of diplomats going to Riyadh ‘to diffuse…
Isis
‘This’ll make you laugh,’ said my husband, looking up from the Daily Telegraph. For once he was right. It was…
