Notes on…
How to roll the perfect cigarette
I recently estimated that, in my smoking life so far and at the age of 29, I have rolled 87,600…
Bring back the briefcase!
The final straw was seeing Jeremy Hunt wearing one shortly before the summer recess – and not just when riding…
The unappetising truth about tasting menus
The tasting menu has fallen from fashion, and this is good. They are a curio – a window to the…
A connoisseur’s guide to collecting matchboxes
We’d been told it would be a ‘brat’ summer, characterised by its inventor, the singer Charli XCX, as ‘a pack…
How bus travel lost its magic
At the former Chiswick Works in west London, I recently celebrated the Routemaster’s 70th birthday. I owe my existence to…
Love it or loathe it, ragwort is winning
White, lacy cow parsley frothing along the roadside is a familiar sight during the British summer. But 2024 is the…
Venn diagrams are the perfect tool for a politician
‘I just love Venn diagrams,’ Kamala Harris said in 2022. ‘It’s just something about those three circles, the analysis about…
The joy of party bags
The perfect, unpretentious, well-constructed party bag was given to guests leaving a recent Hatchards party. It contained a wedge of…
Are you a Gail’s or a Wimpy voter?
Liberal Democrat activists were reportedly told to ‘get out the Gail’s vote’, targeting people who visit the over-priced artisanal cafés.…
The cult of the water bottle
The water bottle is no longer just a water bottle. It is a status symbol. It is an extension of…
Gins in tins – the Yummy Mummy’s ruin
I’m writing this in my car, laptop on knees and a delicious can of Tanqueray Flor de Sevilla gin and…
My garden decor advice for Boris Johnson
Boris Johnson has three lifesize, carved wooden elephants in his garden, given to him by his wife for his 60th…
The grubby world of political betting
If you’re going to fleece a bookies, it would be wise to ask a friend to place the bet on…
Madrí wouldn’t fool a true Spaniard
Four years ago, Madrí didn’t exist. Today, the faux Spanish lager is sold in a quarter of British pubs, which…
What war graves teach us about peace
Hugh Jones was 29 when he was killed in action. On Wednesday, the eve of the 80th anniversary of D-Day,…
Assassination attempts, executions and volleyball: a history of Horse Guards
Will they never learn? The signs are very clear: ‘Beware! Horses may kick or bite.’ Yet last week a woman…
The unbeatable glory of a doner kebab
Ionce shared a bed with a doner kebab. I’d hungrily joined a 3 a.m. queue for much needed post-pub sustenance,…
All boys should own a Swiss Army knife
Last week, Carl Elsener of Victorinox, makers of the Swiss Army knife (all other manufacturers must refer to their products…
Tom Cruise and the art of falconry
Last week, the Hollywood team making the latest Mission Impossible film was desperate to clear Trafalgar Square of its superabundant…
In praise of the 1/3 pint
The worst thing that happened to me over the pandemic was I got ‘really into beer’. I was already into…
Men, step away from the trainers
What is it with men and trainers? Or rather, men of a certain age and trainers. I’m still trying to…
Kippers could save your life
I miss kippers. My wife won’t let me eat them at home, and they have become a rarity in restaurants.…
City folk go wild for wild garlic
For a certain type of Barbour-clad middle-aged man, the best time of year is late summer, and the arrival of…
Why I’ll never own a pair of jeans
North Korea has a problem with Alan Titchmarsh’s crotch. Last week a 2010 episode of Garden Secrets was aired on…
