Notes on…
The art of the party trick
I’ve decided I need a party trick. This thought occurred to me at a recent dinner party as I watched…
Why are we so suspicious of magpies?
I started counting magpies during my brief, doomed time as a history teacher. Trudging in every morning, the grim prospect…
How the hyphen turned political
When Buckingham Palace announced that its errant prince, Andrew, would be known as boring old Andrew Mountbatten Windsor, some surprise…
How Browns lost the battle of the brasseries
Last month, the founder of the Browns restaurant chain was charged with killing his mother. Shocking news, but it feels…
How not to train a truffle dog
For the first time in decades, King Charles has a new pet dog, a lagotto Romagnolo called Snuff. Queen Camilla…
How the Northern line brought T.E. Lawrence to The Spectator
If only the Northern line could get its act together. Last week saw further buffing of its reputation as the…
Would you spend £30 on a Charlie Bigham’s ready meal?
Ready meals: the after-work time-saver, the dinner-party cheat – or a poor imitation of proper, cooked food? The proto-ready meal…
Confessions of a skip-diver
Call me disgusting, but I like rubbish, and I like it best from a skip. I am also in good…
My personalised number plate is worth more than my car
A poll has confirmed what most people know already – personalised number plates are vulgar, divisive and a complete waste…
Let them eat swan
How to react to Nigel Farage’s suggestion that immigrants are killing and eating swans? You can react like LBC’s Iain…
What will love and literature become in the age of the Ring doorbell?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Well, according to the app it was the Evri man at 10.27, the Yodel man at…
The joy of guided walks
‘You should be pointing at things with an umbrella for a living,’ said my brother. He’d come to visit me…
Save our sausages!
Who first thought of grinding up all those little unused odds and sods from an animal carcass and stuffing them…
The discombobulating delight of made-up languages
I wasn’t supposed to understand Potato language. It was my parents’ speech device employed when wishing to discuss certain apparently…
Wanted: a flatmate for the Pope
Pope Leo XIV has announced, though not in the form of a bull, that he will be sharing the Apostolic…
The Liberal MP who put the ‘bank’ in bank holiday
Why are you enjoying a bank holiday this month, as opposed to a ‘general’ or ‘national’ holiday? It’s because the…
Down with exclamation marks!
Punctuation is a gendered thing. I’ve been trying to stop myself overusing exclamation marks and it’s been difficult. Exclamation marks…
I’m learning to swim – at 37
It’s humiliating to admit that at 37, I can’t swim. I’ve spent most of my life embarrassed about not having…
The power of wax seals has never waned
In our electronic age it hardly comes as a surprise that Pat MacFadden’s Cabinet Office intends to do away with…
The secrets of the Palm House at Kew
The news that the Palm House at the Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew, will begin a £60 million, five-year renovation in…
The wit and beauty of bank notes
William Shakespeare was the first to feature, in 1970. Alan Turing was most recent, in 2021. But the Bank of…
I’ve got Donald Trump to thank for my unusual middle name
Never make a drunken bet. At about 3 a.m. one fateful morning, pre-pandemic and several bottles down, a friend and…
How postcards made Britain
Worse for drink, and lonely in his Hollywood apartment, F. Scott Fitzgerald sat down to write a postcard. He began,…
The hidden value of notes
‘You asshole,’ was my friend’s cheery greeting when we met in Ludlow. I’d mucked up the time. Reconciled, we walked…
Heaven is Angel Delight
I once heard an American complain that, being married to an Englishwoman, he was regularly baffled by the contents of…
