The Spectator

Portrait of the week

8 February 2014 9:00 am

Home The Somerset Levels continued to wallow in floods. The Environment Agency was widely blamed for not having dredged channels,…

Barometer

8 February 2014 9:00 am

Our first winter Hopes will not be high for a big haul of British medals in Sochi, but we have…

Letters

8 February 2014 9:00 am

Private pain Sir: A line in Alec Marsh’s article (‘Britain’s one-child policy’, 1 February) caught my eye; that school fees…

Books and Arts

8 February 2014 9:00 am

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‘Roses are red / Begonias maybe / Hello Hugh Grant / I’m having your baby.’

Valentines

8 February 2014 9:00 am

‘There’s only one thing for it — give up driving.’

Smoking

8 February 2014 9:00 am

‘He always makes sure we get out of the car when he wants a fag.’

Cigarette

8 February 2014 9:00 am

‘The property has some unique features: a sunken garden, sunken garden shed, sunken patio…’

Floods

8 February 2014 9:00 am

‘It’s part of the drive to make us more like a private school.’

School

8 February 2014 9:00 am

‘We must do lunch someday.’

Lunch

8 February 2014 9:00 am

Hs2

8 February 2014 9:00 am

‘So exactly what kind of stem cells did they use in your therapy?’

Stem

8 February 2014 9:00 am

Alice Through the Selfie

Alice

8 February 2014 9:00 am

Crimes

8 February 2014 9:00 am

‘It was going to be pea green but there was a sale on at Farrow & Ball.’

Owl

8 February 2014 9:00 am

‘It was going to be pea green but there was a sale on at Farrow and Ball.’

Rowboat

8 February 2014 9:00 am

‘No? Really? How absolutely fascinating...just how exactly did you expect me to look?’

God

8 February 2014 9:00 am

Cat

8 February 2014 9:00 am

‘I remember when you used to hug the trees on our land, Rodney.’

Trees

8 February 2014 9:00 am

‘John and I couldn’t agree on a holiday destination so we’re going to one of my choosing instead.’

Holiday

8 February 2014 9:00 am

‘That’s me sorted — now let’s go and find something for you.’

Charity

8 February 2014 9:00 am

‘With which of these would you like to have sex?’

Sochi

8 February 2014 9:00 am

‘AAAAAAHHHHIIIEEEAAAAHH!!!’

Cry

8 February 2014 9:00 am

‘You could try scratchcards…’

Financial

8 February 2014 9:00 am

Kong

8 February 2014 9:00 am