The Spectator

‘Can I call you back? I’m in a bard place.’

Bard

26 April 2014 9:00 am

‘If only we’d invested in crystal meth.’

Meth

26 April 2014 9:00 am

Shopping

26 April 2014 9:00 am

‘We’re modernising the postal service.’

Post

26 April 2014 9:00 am

Sheepdog

26 April 2014 9:00 am

‘But we’ve not ordered a bouncy castle.’

Bouncy

26 April 2014 9:00 am

‘I’m going to have to love you, like you on Facebook, connect with you on LinkedIn, follow you on Twitter — and leave you.’

Love

26 April 2014 9:00 am

‘Now that’s a real mullet.’

Mullet

26 April 2014 9:00 am

‘And this is where the snorkelling adventure took a turn for the worse. You may want to look away.’

Snorkelling

26 April 2014 9:00 am

Reversing

26 April 2014 9:00 am

‘They fill the gap left by the chocolate vending machines that we were forced to get rid of — and they make much more profit.’

Machines

26 April 2014 9:00 am

‘You asked to see the cheese board.’

Dairy

26 April 2014 9:00 am

Risk Assessment

26 April 2014 9:00 am

Pension Pot

26 April 2014 9:00 am

Stone Age Selfie

26 April 2014 9:00 am

‘I’ve always loved nice bread then one day I thought, “I know, why don’t I bake my own?”’

Bread

26 April 2014 9:00 am

Patriot games

19 April 2014 9:00 am

Possibly because his oratory is no match for his much-displayed pectoral muscles, the speeches of Vladimir Putin are seldom reported…

Portrait of the week

19 April 2014 9:00 am

Home Nigel Evans, who had resigned as deputy speaker before being cleared of a bundle of rape and sexual assault…

Letters

19 April 2014 9:00 am

When the wind blows Sir: Clare Oxford’s piece (‘Gone with the wind turbines’, 12 April) is both timely and sad.…

Barometer

19 April 2014 9:00 am

Done a runner Mami Konneh Lahun, a 24-year-old athlete from Sierra Leone, went missing after finishing as the 20th-placed woman…

Books and arts

19 April 2014 9:00 am

Got something to add? Join the discussion and comment below.

Drugs

19 April 2014 9:00 am

‘I wish you’d get a job at GCHQ — then you might actually start to listen to me.’

Listen

19 April 2014 9:00 am

‘Apart from your generation’s over-inflated sense of self-worth, what else makes you the best candidate for this vacancy?’

Vacancy

19 April 2014 9:00 am

‘It’s nice, but it’s a little over our price range.’

Box

19 April 2014 9:00 am