The Spectator

Closet racist

Closet

1 March 2014 9:00 am

‘Is my phone line secure? Yes, it’s got little cable ties and everything’

Mi5

1 March 2014 9:00 am

God

1 March 2014 9:00 am

‘The usual, Sir?’

Vampire

1 March 2014 9:00 am

How to save elephants

22 February 2014 9:00 am

The Duke of Cambridge deserves credit for bringing his influence to bear on the growing tragedy of the elephant, whose…

Portrait of the week

22 February 2014 9:00 am

Home It would be ‘extremely difficult, if not impossible’ for an independent Scotland to join the European Union, José Manuel…

Letters

22 February 2014 9:00 am

Caution over wind Sir: While the broadcast media have assailed their audiences with simplistic yet blanket coverage of the floods…

Books and Arts

22 February 2014 9:00 am

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‘I don’t have a vote — I’m an American tourist.’

Referendum

22 February 2014 9:00 am

‘I’m not sure I’m the right person to ask.’

Coop

22 February 2014 9:00 am

‘Fiona, we’ve got a Cheshire mouse.’

Mouse

22 February 2014 9:00 am

Weather

22 February 2014 9:00 am

Sundial

22 February 2014 9:00 am

‘We have reason to suspect that you can’t afford to live around here.’

Suspect

22 February 2014 9:00 am

‘Pretend to take this from me — we’ll CGI in the actual trophy later’

Award

22 February 2014 9:00 am

‘I’ve invented gay marriage.’

Cavemen

22 February 2014 9:00 am

Baby Cowell’s first word

Cowell

22 February 2014 9:00 am

‘Have you tried not watching EastEnders?’

Counsellor

22 February 2014 9:00 am

‘Sir, you’re distracting the other passengers.’

Disturbing

22 February 2014 9:00 am

‘Talk dirty to me, Miss Bracewell.’

Dirty

22 February 2014 9:00 am

‘The Bronze Age has well and truly arrived.’

Bronze

22 February 2014 9:00 am

‘I’m afraid it’s more bad news regarding your home — you’ve got squatters.’

Squatters

22 February 2014 9:00 am

‘Hey, pre-internet porn...how quaint.’

Porn

22 February 2014 9:00 am

‘I think the fish wants to go out.’

Fish

22 February 2014 9:00 am

Prayer

22 February 2014 9:00 am