Real life
My gay best friend is cheating on me with another woman. I saw him with her the other day and…
Real life
A letter arrives from David Cameron, asking me to vote by post in the European elections. Presumably he means vote…
Real life
The look on her face said it all. I can always tell my friend Denise is upset about something when…
Really wild excuses
The Environment Agency may not be much use to humans, but it does great things for the depressed river mussel
Real life
‘Quick, let’s slip one in the menu,’ said the builder, taking a leaflet from my handbag after we had paid…
Real life
‘Please, I beg of you, take me to see André,’ was my mother’s heartfelt plea. And so it was that…
Real life
Seeing a poodle on the London Underground wearing a red vest with the words ‘Diabetes Medical Dog’ has given me…
Real life
Drip, drip, drip. The noise of my downstairs London conversion flat, where the plumbing was fitted by turn-of-the-century sadists who…
Real life
Don’t do it. Do not, whatever you do, even think about doing it. I was happy not doing it. And…
Real life
‘How often do you de-frag this?’ said the Good Geek in the phone shop. I had gone in finally to…
Real life
‘Hello, I’d like my money back, please,’ I said to the nice lady on the other end of the line.…
Real life
Just the three resolutions for me. I am keeping it simple. Number one: no more boyfriends. The definition of insanity…
Real Life
A very cross letter arrives from someone who wants to tell me I’m a ‘silly woman’. ‘You are a silly…
Real life
Emmylou Harris and the McGarrigle sisters wrote a song called ‘All I left Behind’. My version is called ‘All They…
Real Life
Everything is a journey now, especially if it involves failure. The X Factor rejects, people having disasters as they build…
Pants to the fatties
It’s becoming impossible to find knickers in my size
Real life
The builder boyfriend and I have had a terrible row. In the heat of the moment, I said something truly…
Real life
‘Do you know…?’ said the Tory MP I was sitting next to, as he tried to introduce me to the…
Real life
Like the heroine in Stephen King’s The Tommyknockers, I stood in front of it with my mouth open in awe.…
Rural revolt
The shires feel deeply abandoned by Cameron and the Conservatives
Real life
Blind panic grips me at the thought that all over Britain there are people sitting in cosy home offices operating…
Real life
Speeding down the farm track from my little country retreat, I came across the gamekeeper in his Defender. I wound…
Real life
‘Hello, good morning, my name is Gavin Moneypenny, and I’m your customer service representative for today and I’m pleased to…
Real life
‘Excuse me. I couldn’t help overhearing your conversation and I have to tell you, as a Catholic, I’m offended.’ The…
Real life
Natural horsemanship has a lot to answer for. After a cross country event the other day, I rode back to…
