Bernie

‘You wait ages for someone to throw under the bus and then three come along at once.’

Bernie 25 April 2026 9:00 am

‘Good evening, I’m from the government’s “summer of sex” compliance office.’

Bernie 25 April 2026 9:00 am

‘Did you go anywhere special this Easter?’

Bernie 11 April 2026 9:00 am

Let me put it this way – if you have any Premium Bonds, draw them out now

Bernie 4 April 2026 9:00 am

‘Take me to your Trump-appointed leader.’

Bernie 14 March 2026 9:00 am

‘If you want your letter to arrive on time, you have to put it in a parcel.’

Bernie 7 March 2026 9:00 am

‘The Tory party was much better when I was your age.’

Bernie 24 January 2026 9:00 am

Can we just forget all this

Bernie 3 January 2026 9:00 am

First floor

Bernie 13 December 2025 9:00 am

‘If it turns out you’ve been lying about Father Christmas, Mum, you’ll have to go.’

Bernie 6 December 2025 9:00 am

A relationship with someone you don’t know

Bernie 22 November 2025 9:00 am

You just can’t trust a Chancellor of the Exchequer

Bernie 8 November 2025 9:00 am

Glitter wrecking ball

Bernie 1 November 2025 9:00 am

‘Before you decide, remember where all the toys and goodies come from’

Bernie 18 October 2025 9:00 am

‘A treble whisky please – I’m doing sober October.’

Bernie 18 October 2025 9:00 am

It’s not the most aspirational of slogans.

Bernie 4 October 2025 9:00 am

Autumn

Bernie 20 September 2025 9:00 am

My chatbot

Bernie 13 September 2025 9:00 am

‘This is beginning to escalate.’

Bernie 30 August 2025 4:00 am

Here come the flag police

Bernie 23 August 2025 9:09 am

Bag for life

Bernie 16 August 2025 9:00 am

How did he get away with all the unhealthy skinny images?

Bernie 16 August 2025 9:00 am

Punch & Judy

Bernie 9 August 2025 9:00 am

Are you going to talk about football all night?

Bernie 2 August 2025 9:00 am

He wants to deny any connection to Donald Trump

Bernie 26 July 2025 9:00 am

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