Here at the Political Research Centre, we have just finished a major project involving no less an undertaking than setting up a new political party. This has been a long and arduous process, covering its name, vision, structure and organisation. Moreover, we have avoided the pitfalls that have plagued the other parties. In a nutshell, we have brought about the end of the old politics with their empty slogans and their pandering to vested interests and have ushered in a new era that truly reflects the vibrant spirit of our local communities. And its very name, Community Strong, reflects this, because it does not mean anything. But isn’t this what the community wants, a party that reflects the ever-changing tide of community opinion, rather than one trapped in the straitjacket of the past?

Just take one example of how our fledgling party will be better than the others; they are all based on the hidebound and stultifying notion that a party should have policies, so that people will know what they are letting themselves in for when they vote. This might have a superficial attraction to people with no imagination or sense of adventure, but it is a particularly nasty feature of the old politics. First, it leads to endless argument that an idea should be rejected simply because it is contrary to party policy. It also leads to disruptive gossip when MPs show signs of wanting to vote against their party’s policies. Accordingly, we have removed both of these defects of the old parties by not having any policies. It will therefore be unthinkable for either or both of our MPs to vote against policies that we do not have. Moreover, it will be unthinkable for us to be accused of proposing ideas that are contrary to policies that do not exist. This great reform will leave us free to adopt whatever emerges from time to time within our vibrant and effervescent communities.

And, to make it clear beyond any doubt that we have built the party on modern principles, we are actually writing into our constitution that our MPs will be free to vote however the mood takes them, the only qualification being that they will not be allowed to vote for what we call in our constitution ‘the party line’, even if there is one, which of course there is not, or at least not yet. Thus, our MPs will have a flexibility and freedom hitherto unknown in Australian politics which the people will welcome as a major contribution to political stability and predictability.

And we are not setting up some sort of a political Wild-West Show here. Our party will have something far more substantial than policies. We will have values. And we have put them into our constitution so that people will have no doubt what they are: ‘integrity, stewardship, equality, fairness and transparency’. Also, if some mean-spirited and narrow-minded people find that none of these values appeal to them, we have lots of others.

It is true, however, that issues will arise, especially at election time, when some of our  more cautious and well-meaning volunteers will probably insist that the party tells the public what it will do about this or that issue before it comes to the crunch and the people have to vote. The danger, of course, is that the party might then become just another party with policies and promises that people will expect it to live up to. But all of our commitments will be subject to Rule 50, immortalised by our Prime Minister when breaking his promise not to impose new taxes. As he rightly pointed out, this promise was not binding, as he had made it only 50 times, and a political promise is binding only if made 51 times or more.

Furthermore, there are other reforms that will put our party ahead of all the others. Just look at the issue of leadership. The other parties change their leader as often as you change your shirt, leading to permanent instability. But in our case, we will completely avoid this source of perpetual turmoil by not having a leader and who, therefore, can never be sacked. Instead of a leader, we will have teams of community representatives who will never be voted out of office because they will never have been voted into anything, giving us a well-deserved air of stability.

Coming now to the structure of the party as a whole, here again we are rejecting the old and embracing the new. The established parties have old-fashioned branches which tempt the members to resign, leading to more instability in the party, and if they are not resigning, they spend all their time inventing new policies which do not reflect the true values of the community, as we will find them to be. We have solved both of those problems at one stroke: we will not have members and hence there is simply no need to have branches from which they might resign, because there will be nothing that they have joined.

Above all, volunteers are essential to our structure. So we conducted a survey of our volunteers to see if, as we put it, they were ‘excited or concerned’ about the prospect of there being a party with no members, no leader and no policies. The votes are in, but we cannot reveal the result just yet, as KPMG is drawing up our privacy policy, and it will not be ready until after the next election.

Finally, I want to assure you that the party will not be some airy-fairy fantasy, but will stand very firmly in the real world. To assure you of our genuine commitment in that regard we have decided that we will take part in accepting the modest financial provision the government makes to political parties to finance their election campaigns. But we are confident that the public will see this not so much as a handout, but more as an investment in democracy and the vibrancy of our local communities. On that issue, this community will be very strong.