The UK has a peerless reputation for producing some of the catchiest and most imaginative pop music on the planet. Little wonder that a dazzling and diverse roster of home-grown artists (pop stars in old money) have exerted dominance over the international music charts for decades.

Yet despite the fact we gifted the Beatles, David Bowie, Kate Bush and even the Spice Girls (well, they were massive) to the world, when it comes to producing a Eurovision winner, we are – to put it impolitely – absolute pants.