Australia’s vaccine regulator, the Australian Technical Advisory Group on Immunisation (ATAGI), is still determinedly operating a virus theme park which few people want to visit anymore. Whereas impressive and terrifying dinosaurs once roamed Hollywood’s Jurassic Park, Covid World, according to ATAGI, is now stocked with just ho-hum Omicron to the exclusion of the once mighty ‘variants of concern’ whose very names (Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta – remember them?) conjured bucket-loads of fear. ‘Numerous sub-lineages of Omicron’ are trying their hardest at being a drawcard by causing ‘distinct global waves of infection’ but it’s a lacklustre show nowadays and few customers are bothering with Covid World anymore.

As a result, the desperate curators of Covid World are offering discount admission for a segment of the market that has previously proved resistant to all the pandemic fear theatre and who have, in particular, snubbed the star attraction of the mighty Covid vaccine which once had people flocking in their droves to Covid World.

Under updated guidance just released, the official government recommendation is to lower the cost of admission for unvaccinated healthy adults aged 18 and 75 to just one shot of the experimental mRNA (billed as a vaccine, but it’s not). It’s one and done, now. Until a week ago, however, we had been instructed that a single dose was considered all but useless. Now, just like Brylcreem (‘a little dab’ll do ya’), for the Covid vaccines it’s a case of ‘a little dab’ll do ya’. One single, little jab.

ATAGI must think, against all reason and common sense, that all those unvaccinated Australians will, at long last, now finally get with the program. All those who held out against the coercive government mandates and social bullying will swiftly take their turn at the Covid vaccine of deliverance. This is delusional but in Covid World, no one thinks straight anymore.

Nowhere in the advice is there a suitable rationale for the new, ‘single jab’ guidance. It remains unexplained and prompts some to consider that the original advice from the government had sod all to do with any health science and everything to do with society-wide political compliance with the aggressive strategy of governments and their tame public health caste that damaging lockdowns, ridiculous masks and social distancing lunacies were all brilliant mitigation strategies to tide us over until the vaccine saviour could supply the coup de grace.

Covid still remains dangerous, of course, we are reminded, especially for ‘vulnerable’ people. So the updated guidance emphasises that older Australians (those over 75) should still get regular doses of the vaccine every 6 months whilst healthy adults aged 65–74 are still urged to get a shot every twelve months with the option of every six months. Healthy adults aged 18–64 years may consider annual boosters. There is no science proffered in support of the frequency nor the suspiciously neat year/half-year schedule, of course.

Pregnant women have not been ignored in all of this. A primary course of the one-shot wonder, is still recommended for unvaccinated pregnant women, despite, and you’ve got to love the blasé way they put it, the fact that ‘although the latest mRNA Covid vaccines have not been formally studied in pregnant women, ATAGI considers them suitable and safe for use’. Trust us, pregnant (and nursing) mums of Australia, it will all be okay on the night.

The guidance, which still touts boosters at least annually for all Australians, does come with a caveat emptor. The mRNA vaccines ‘carry a small risk of myocarditis,’ they say, (the adjective, ‘rare’, gets a vigorous workout). At least, myocarditis and pericarditis are now officially recognised as essential components of the Covid World ecosystem.

The other wonder drug in Covid World, the vaccine for Monkeypox, has a safety profile that ‘remains unknown’ but, again, trust us, it’ll be fine because we are the experts so go ahead and grab one of those whilst you’re about your Covid jab. That, apparently is how they do the science of drug safety in Covid World.

It is advisable, however, to space the Covid and Mpox jabs by four weeks ‘to allow attribution for any adverse reaction. This is particularly relevant for young males’. So the ‘safe and effective’ exhibit is not so safe and effective after all.

Nevertheless, if you do get bitten by ‘Safe and Effective’, don’t come running to the government for compensation because, after all, you got jabbed of your own free will.

The Covid World curators are working hard to refresh their display with Disease X, which was projected to be 20 times more deadly than Covid, or Bird Flu, a whopping 100 times worse. Neither of these attractions are pulling the crowds, though. It’s as if the punters are jaded by past over-hyped disappointments and don’t trust the government/‘Expert’ PR anymore.

Yes, Covid World – The Land That Time Forgot. The land of exaggerated pandemic fear, the ‘Cases’ Gospel according to the PCR, Variants of Concern, lockdown lunacy, ‘My Mask Protects You, Your Mask Protects Me’, Safe and Effective, and all the rest of fantastical monsters that have terrorised most of the world for four years. Now all forgotten by time – but, alas, not by the public health mafia and the government. Unlike the old testing and vaccination queues, however, there’s absolutely no need to queue to get into the dilapidated Covid World. We’re done with all that now. If someone could only let the government know.