My friend Evie complains that I never want to go out and have fun anymore.

“You’ve become a boring old stick-in-the-mud.”

And I’m left wondering: is she right?

My Woke Woman invited me to go with her to her Free-Love-Eco-Marxist commune and I said no. “Come on,” she pleaded, “it will be fun!”

And now Evie wants me to go with her to the Torture Garden, which is Europe’s biggest fetish and body-art event.