Advice
Dear Mary: How do we handle staying with friends with very different political views?
Q. We are going to stay with some old friends who we haven’t seen for a couple of years as…
Dear Mary: How do I ditch my slow-walking friend?
Q. I recently attended an opera on a friend’s estate in Kent. It was a multi-generational, non-ticketed, invitation-only event. The…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my friends going on about their ‘neurodivergence’?
Q. Everyone I know pretends to have neurodivergence to make themselves seem more unusual and so they can talk about…
Dear Mary: How do you leave a party early?
Q. How can you leave a party early – e.g. at midnight rather than 4 a.m. – without everyone thinking…
Dear Mary: How do you decipher modern RSVPs?
Q. I was caught off guard last week by a busybody mother at my son’s boarding school asking us to…
Dear Mary: how can I relax about the clothes moths in my home?
Q. Having previously lived in the country in a field with my nearest neighbour not even visible, I recently moved…
Dear Mary: What is the etiquette of responding to save-the-dates?
Q. I have a problem with a much older friend who is slightly insecure and super-sensitive to criticism and I…
Dear Mary: Must I take my mother-in-law’s hideous cast-offs?
Q. My soon-to-be mother-in-law has started off-loading large amounts of her expensive but hideous cast-off clothes on to me. I…
Dear Mary: Is it acceptable to go to bed before my guests do?
Q. I am a self-employed travel specialist, concentrating on holidays in Asia. Friends (and even friends of friends) plague me…
Dear Mary: Should weddings be ‘no ring, no bring’?
Q. An old friend who is extremely generous and loyal has the most infuriating habit. Despite being efficient in other…
Dear Mary: What is the etiquette of unfollowing someone on Instagram?
Q. When hosting a dinner party, should one circulate the biographies/Wikipedia entries of your guests beforehand so that everyone arrives…
Dear Mary: How do I stop Ozempic ruining my dinner parties?
Q. I enjoy giving dinner parties and put a lot of effort into the preparations. However, recently I have noticed…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my husband eavesdropping on my phone calls?
Q. I’m quite a good friend of a member of our royal family – going back to our shared school…
Dear Mary: How can I check if my host received my thank-you letter?
Q. Annoyingly, one of the Sunday newspapers ran an article about the ‘least used but most scenic footpaths’ in the…
Dear Mary: How do I tell my friend that hot food needs hot plates?
Q. A divorced male friend, renting in Notting Hill, has had no historic experience of cooking but has discovered Lidgate…
Dear Mary: How do I get my friend’s wife to keep her distance?
Q. Every year my husband takes two weeks’ prime salmon fishing on a Scottish river. It’s a really nice holiday…
Dear Mary: How do I get my cleaner to quit?
Q. How can we get our new unsatisfactory house cleaner to resign? There is a huge demand for cleaners in…
Dear Mary: Should I admit to being a Donald Trump supporter?
Q. This may sound ridiculous but I have an issue with the Big Issue seller near me. I am in…
Dear Mary: How do I ensure that splitting the bill is fair?
Q. A Belgian couple (a baron and baroness, no less) are regular visitors to the Highlands and I have come…
Dear Mary: Can I regift an unwanted tin of sweets?
Q. A kind villager gave us a jolly circular tin of sweets for Christmas. We are both overweight and would…
Dear Mary: How do I avoid my friend’s gropey partner?
Q. I have a dear friend who is in a newish relationship. The partner – whom I hardly know –…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my neighbour sending WhatsApp messages IN CAPITALS?
Q. My husband has a stressful job and needs to quietly decompress at the end of the week. This is…
Dear Mary: How can I avoid a lunge on a date?
Q. I have been working in London as a receptionist in a private members’ club and consequently have had the…
