Q. My wife has for some time been a member of a fashionable members’ club. A dear friend and ex-colleague recently approached me to ask if he could submit her details as reference for his application to such club. In some circles he may be deemed to be somewhat rough around the edges. Personally, I would have no hesitation in recommending him as I believe I owe him a great deal – indeed, I believe we all owe him a great deal. As a sometime servant of this country, he survived a near fatal wound in one of Mr Blair’s ill-advised expeditions to the Middle East. My wife has refused his request on the grounds that he is likely to cause trouble at some stage. I disagree, but even so I would support his application. What should I do?

– J.R., Oxfordshire

A. Unless you know another member who would endorse the application, then encourage your wife to let her own name be used. She would thereby have the chance to block his access. But would she be kind enough to include her husband’s viewpoint – that the mitigating factors of his war work should be taken into account? Then let the club have the final say.

Q. How can one punish the delivery companies that regularly let one down? I am so often promised that a parcel will arrive on a certain day at a certain time and I wait in for it – then it doesn’t come and there is no phone number to call and only bots online to talk to. Most recently, a whole delivery of clothes arrived too late for a holiday. It seems that two useless companies have cornered the market and do not even try.

– W.F., Moreton in Marsh

A. The same locally based delivery people usually do the same runs for the two leading companies. Next time you have a successful delivery, make a fuss of that delivery person, give them a fiver and offer them a can of cool liquid as you empathise with how difficult their job must be. Pleasantly suggest that you exchange mobile numbers so that the next time you need not annoy them by being out if they have ‘updated’ their delivery time. Once you have their number, you can chase them.

Q. I went to a really cool summer party where I was dancing with a boy I vaguely remembered having met before. When I asked ‘Can you remind me what your name is?’ he replied: ‘You’ve met me properly at least three times before!’ How could I have asked without causing him to be upset?

– Name and address withheld

A. You could have taken a photo of him with your iPhone and then asked: ‘Do you mind if I tag you on Instagram when I post these party pictures? How do you spell your full name?’