Just as the Roman Emperors knew to give the proles bread and circuses, so too does Victoria’s very own dictator Dan Andrews. But instead of chariot races and gladiators, the Andrews government is giving Victorians an ice-skating rink, 10,000 free kazoos and nightly moon worshipping. Never mind the fact that Melbourne CBD has become a dangerous, filthy, graffitied shadow of its former self, just look at the moon!

One of the strangest partnerships of ‘Rising’ is between Metro Trains and Kimberly Moulton, a ‘proud Yorta Yorta woman and Senior Curator of South Easter Aboriginal Collections at Museum Victoria’.