Q. We have some friends whom we have casual suppers with on a fairly regular basis, just the four of us. Recently they sent a text inviting us ‘for supper’ and we turned up on the appointed evening to walk into a room filled with 20 other guests and formal tables set up. Not only were we mentally unprepared for such an evening, we were also under-dressed. Although my husband ended up loving the party, he works a 12-hour day and would definitely have said no had he known the scale of it. Our host knows this and so I feel he slightly ambushed us. How can we stop this from happening again?

– G.L., Edinburgh

A. A few days before the next ‘supper’, send your host a text suggesting that you contribute a pudding as you have a fabulous new recipe. This will force him into coming clean about the logistics of the evening. Enthuse ‘How lovely!’ whatever he replies. At least you will be prepared.

Q. My younger sister is pretty much the first one in her friendship group to have a baby – due shortly. Neither she nor any of her friends have any idea how tired the new mother, however young she is, will feel and she will be absolutely swamped by visits from her large circle arriving armed with generous gifts and food. Her husband will be at home with her after the birth, but he has confided in me that he fears things getting out of control with her being unable to limit the amount and length of these visits. She lives in London right in the centre of many of her friends so it would be difficult for her to say no, even if she wanted to. Any advice, Mary?

– R.M., London SE11

A. The husband should print out a number of notes explaining that his wife will say she’s not tired but she is, in fact, exhausted. Therefore could guests please stay for 20 minutes maximum, despite her protestations. Wearing a friendly conspiratorial expression, he should hand each visitor one of these notes on arrival.

Q. I can send thank-you texts without a problem but I am very dyslexic and find the hand-writing of thank-you letters for proper treats, like stays in someone’s house, really difficult. Any suggestions?

– E.J., Dulwich

A. The solution is to take a number of photographs during such stays and then make a collage for your host. Make sure you have it framed – perhaps in one of those clear magnetic frames from Muji – or it will sit about in their house getting coffee stains. This will be valued by your host just as much as a handwritten letter and they can reuse the frame when they tire of looking at the collage.