Q. I’m dreading Christmas because my darling partner’s two middle-aged children (both unmarried) are coming to stay and they don’t get on. I don’t want to seem inhospitable by not offering them plenty to drink, but drink does always seem to be the trigger for their rows. What do you recommend, Mary?

– Name and address withheld

A. Change the thrust of the visit into a spa-themed break rather than a festival of gluttony. See if you can book visits from massage therapists who do not celebrate Christmas and therefore may welcome the work. Your partner should communicate with his children that you have begun to worry you may have an alcohol problem. For this reason he thinks it would be kinder if there was no drink in the house, as you might be tempted to lapse. He can tell his children they will still be enormously welcome and he hopes they will understand why this year the focus has to be on health and wellbeing.

Q. A friend in the city often invites me, a country bumpkin, to her afternoon get-togethers. They are highly convivial with decent wine and tolerable food. However, I now dread them as she always phones at the last minute to ask if other guests who happen to live ‘on the way’ can have a lift. This lengthens my already long drive but to refuse would look rude. Later, I am lumbered with returning these (thankless and inebriated) people to their homes. I have tried to evade my accidental Ubering but my friend refuses to take the hint. She is already arranging my ‘fares’ for her Christmas party. Mary, how might I tactfully prevent her from doing this?

– Name and address withheld

A. No doubt you would enjoy the chat during these journeys if you were not at the wheel, so ask for a quote for the whole journey plus multiple drop-offs from a professional Uber driver. With the cost of fuel, an actual Uber may well turn out to be more economical than driving your own car. A desire to save money rather than to avoid a thankless chore should be given as the reason for your brainwave.

Q. A reader asked you how to stop guests filching adapters and your advice was to change the sockets. As someone who welcomes many guests to my house in France and also noticed that the adapters were disappearing as fast as the rosé, I found a simple (and cheaper) solution: I wrote my name in permanent marker on the plugs and attached colourful sticky tape to the cables. While people will cheerfully take stuff they ‘thought was theirs’, it seems they won’t take it when there’s no doubt who it belongs to.

 – F.G., London SW6

A. Thank you for sharing this practical suggestion.

The post Dear Mary: How do I stop my partner’s argumentative children ruining Christmas? appeared first on The Spectator.