Q. Last week I was a ticket-paying guest at a charity dinner. After the first course, the main fundraiser stood up and gave a speech. I didn’t know the man on my right but I suspect he was some sort of VIP. He never stopped talking about himself to me throughout the speech and I was aware of disapproving glances in our direction. I didn’t want to be rude and ignore him but we were obviously an annoyance to others. What would you have done, Mary?

– Name and address withheld

A. You might have gripped his arm and said: ‘Did you hear? I think she/he just mentioned your name.’ That would have shut him up and then, at the end, you could have said: ‘Oh – I must have been mistaken.’ 

Q. It’s very common for friends and family to go cashless and pay for everything using their phone or a card. But what happens when we want to tip staff in a restaurant or pay for a black cab? I still carry cash for such contingencies but I seem to end up being out of pocket at the end of the evening. Such extra expense is rarely compensated. How can I avoid such inconvenience in future?

– S.R., Sunninghill

A. Hesitate before volunteering that you are carrying cash yourself. Instead, if no one else has cash for a tip in a restaurant, ask the waiter to add 12.5 per cent to the bill before dividing it up. If a taxi driver wants cash, he will say so before the journey starts. You can then bring out, for example, a tenner and get one of your co-passengers to jump out at a cashpoint. 

Q. I am semi-retired and work at home two days a week. I have employed a 22-year-old graduate to help. She is brilliant at tech and hard-working, but she keeps her telephone on her desk and sends and receives WhatsApp messages while we are working together. She does this with lightning speed and only when, for example, I pause in dictation or am reading or looking for something. Is it unreasonable of me to want her to focus on me the whole time? Would it seem pompous if I were to suggest she checks her phone once an hour? 

– Name and address withheld

A. The risk is she would become tense and less effective if only allowed to check her phone once an hour. Why not compromise by employing her one day a week and, on the second day, a mature figure who would be prepared to give you her full attention? 

Q. Is it disloyal of me to watch The Crown? I know it’s a disgrace to misrepresent people who can’t sue but I so enjoy the scenery and the interiors.

– J.J., Stamford, Lincs 

A. No, it’s important that you do watch it so you can explain to the less well-informed which bits of the story are fabrications.

The post Dear Mary: is it disloyal of me to watch The Crown?  appeared first on The Spectator.