It appears that COP26 are running out of the big guns to wheel into Glasgow. Already David Attenborough, Prince Charles and Boris Johnson have delivered their warnings, with Greta Thunberg boycotting outside and the Queen resting in Windsor. Who better than to take to the stage on day two of the UN climate change summit than Amazon boss Jeff Bezos, the billionaire eco-warrior last seen blasting off into space?

Bezos addressed the eco-jamboree this morning to tell delegates how he intends to save the world. The philandering philanthropist confessed that it was only ‘when I was in space’ earlier this year that he realised just how thin the globe’s atmosphere was – an epiphany which merely required a chemical-splurging rocket being blasted off the face of the Earth. Silicon Valley’s answer to Blofeld announced to the assembled satraps, apparatchiks and flunkies a £2 billion ‘pledge to restoring nature’ – 2,000 times the commitment made by Nicola Sturgeon. Sadly Rocketman did not find time to mention his tax arrangements, plans to pay a living wage to long-suffering staff – or indeed how his own personal life will be affected by the policies he is pushing.

For Jeff’s gas-guzzling £48 million Gulf Stream jet was among the 400 private planes arriving at COP26 on Sunday. The Amazon founder arrived in Glasgow fresh from celebrating Microsoft founder Bill Gates’ 66th birthday on a £2million-a-week ‘superyacht’ off the coast of Turkey – an event he reached by helicopters, according to reports. Given that choppers use up approximately 10.75 miles per gallon, Bezos’s helicopter emitted some 215 pounds of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere while a ‘superyacht’ emits 7,020 tons of carbon dioxide per year, or 19 tons per day.

Still, for the ironically-titled Amazon boss, such emissions must seem like small fry when compared to the hot air spouted by his fellow attendees. COP26 – it’s the carbon gift that keeps on emitting. <//>