Real life

The sabs hate us because we’re patriotic, top-rate tax-paying, law-abiding scum

They dream of the day Jeremy Corbyn becomes prime minister and puts an end to wealth creation and good management of the countryside

28 November 2015

9:00 AM

28 November 2015

9:00 AM

‘You lot are a disgrace! Chasing after defenceless animals on horseback!’

The bearded anti was on his mountain bike on a bridle path and so strictly speaking he ought to have given way to horses, according to the Highway Code, rather than blocking their path and shouting at them. But let’s leave that aside.

The main problem with the angry cyclist’s diatribe was that he was yelling animal rights abuse at Britain’s oldest drag hunt, proudly not killing anything for 150 years.

A few weeks ago I reported that I found it baffling that the sabs had been out to thwart the Surrey Union when it was legal trail hunting. And a few of you wrote in to point out that a lot of hunts still accidentally kill foxes. But even if that were true, how do you explain the antis opposing a form of riding to hounds designed specifically not to kill anything, in which the hounds are only trained to follow scent laid by a human runner, these days on a quad bike?

We tried to put old beardy right, stopping our horses on the soggy bridleway to reason with him.

‘This is a drag hunt, mate, not a fox hunt,’ we said with all the politeness we could muster. But the bearded lefty was unperturbed.

‘I don’t care what you call it. It’s a disgrace!’

One of our number continued to try to reason with him, perhaps thinking he could broaden his mind.

‘But we’re not doing anything other than riding our horses in the countryside. You’ve bought yourself a nice bike to ride, I’ve bought myself a nice horse, see? It’s not so very different.’ But old beardy was adamant.

‘You disgust me! Come on! Get down from there and let’s sort this out properly!’

‘I really don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m sure we can settle this in a civilised manner.’

‘Come on, you big toff!’

‘I’m not a toff. I’m a builder from Woking.’

‘No, you’re not! You’re a toff! Get down right now and let’s sort this out!’

So we had to ride away. Perhaps that’s why they call it drag hunting, because you have to deal with people who want you to stop doing something you’re not doing. Which really is a drag.

Certainly, we shouldn’t have bothered trying to change old beardy’s mind because it was obvious all along what he meant when he said, ‘You lot are a disgrace…

‘YOU lot. You middle-class Tory-voting movers and shakers with your posh horses and your athletic abilities and the bare-faced cheek with which you jump over hedges when all I can manage to do is pedal a bike, which, let’s face it, requires no skill. I don’t want to have to look at you! I hate YOU! You fit, loathsome, prosperous high achievers! You think you’re clever, working hard all your lives to earn enough money to buy a nice hunting horse and training for years to be able to jump five feet obstacles? You think you’re so great putting money into the economy with your big vet bills and your expensive riding equipment? So you don’t kill anything! Big deal! You think that makes it nicer for me to look at you and be reminded of my shortcomings? Well, it doesn’t. As for mending fences and tending hedgerows and raising money for charity with days out like this? It makes me sick! Why don’t you sit on your arse all week claiming benefits and dreaming about the day when Jeremy Corbyn becomes Prime Minister and we can put an end to wealth creation, aspiration and good management of the countryside, eh? EH? If you had any self-respect, you’d turn all your horses and dogs loose to roam free and live off berries, then you’d all buy mountain bikes and ride them along the bridleways, high on adrenaline, churning up the tracks and frightening the wild horses and dogs as they starve to death as nature intended. Or, better still, you’d issue a statement calling for talks with Isis, instead of holding a minute’s silence in support of France at the start of your so-called drag hunt. And don’t get me started on those big fancy horse lorries you’re paying all that road tax on that’s keeping the highways financed. You should ride your good honest bikes home at full pelt without paying a penny for the privilege of racing them on the public road surface, and run red lights and pedestrian crossings and undertake buses and lorries, and stick two fingers up and swear like a joyless left-wing vegan bully like me. But oh no! You have to get on your high horses and be at one with the rhythms of nature. You vile, patriotic, top rate tax-paying, law-abiding scum!’

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Show comments
  • davidshort10

    No such thing as road tax and hasn’t been since the 1930s.

  • Kym Morton

    Brilliant Melissa – made me laugh out loud, one of your best. really excellent, thank you

  • Andrew Cole

    Enjoyed it until you started on about bikes and road taxes. Most cyclists are law abiding. A higher percentage of them than drivers I would suggest who think the amber red is a 10 second warning and speed limits are just guidelines etc.

    Also no such thing as Road tax and hasn’t been for 80 odd years. Vehicle Excise Duty is paid on emissions and guess what…….Bicycles……..emissions? Less than those eco friendly cars that pay……….zero ‘road tax’.

    I do get what you mean though and have stated on here many times that people in this country are villified for being succesful, people are hated for having the cheek to be born wealthy and if you haven’t got an accent or show any sign of not being working class you are sneered at.

    Next time drop the cyclist bit. Was a really good read till then.

    • jennybloggs

      But then there are people who like to believe that they are disliked because they are wealthy, whereas in fact they are just unlikeable. Several politicians are in this category.

      • Andrew Cole

        Although even there you are judging a book by its cover. A lot of my bosses would be unlikeable by that standard but away from their jobs they were very nice people.

        Same in all walks of life. Judge the person not the way they appear when doing their job.

    • Dogsnob

      Most cyclists are drivers who happen not to have chosen to drive that day.

      • Andrew Cole

        As I am. Difference is when I drive I stop unless it is unsafe when he lights turn amber and I keep to speed limits. I also don’t label all cyclists as law breakers because of the few idiots that tar the rest.

        I also don’t warble on about a non existent tax that even if just using the old ‘moniker’ would not apply to bicycles anyway due to their zero emissions.

        • Dogsnob


      • Todd Unctious

        Most huntsman are bloodlusting idiots who like to dress up in red and charge about on a horse. Self-entitled nitwits.

        • King Kibbutz

          Is there a reason you have chosen to lob this nugget my way?

  • Todd Unctious

    No. You are hated because you are smug, arrogant, chinless toffs.Absent of a morality and pregnant with bloodlust. Ordinary folk detest you for being a self perpetuating clique, for being embarrassing poorly educated twits. Money is irrelevant. We hate you for more subtle reasons. We hate you for your tenacious cleaving to the past to try and justify the inequality that affords your life of largesse.

    • Sausage McGuffin

      Are you the beardy in question, perchance?

      • Tamerlane

        No, he’s an activist from the Respect Party. V nasty piece of work.

        • Todd Unctious

          No I am not. Tammy just likes to spread lies about me as he cannot bear to be shown up as a charlatan whenever he debates anything. Tammy cannot formulate an argument so he simply tells lies.

          • Richard

            I am interested that you seem to “hate” (a very strong word, and not an emotion to be recommended) these people as people, rather than for any particular action. How do you feel, say, about people who “hate” a particular ethnicity as people? And if it is because of what they do, how about, say, blacks for their stabbings and shooting, which comprise 80% of all gun and knife crime in London? Would you consider that acceptable?

            Also wondering what you make of this vis-a-vis Kant’s Categorical Imperative (though it seems you repudiate this a la Nietzsche), since you presumably are better educated than these people you “hate”, or any other good/evil framework.

          • Todd Unctious

            I do indeed hate people who stab or shoot others, just like I have smug toffs dressing up as characters from Jane Austen to chase a fox. Of course I am better educated than them. Blimey, you’d hardly expect clever folk to hunt.

          • John

            Priest is simply not a job.

          • Father Todd Unctious

            No. It is a vocation. Killing foxes is not a sport. It is a vacuous crime.

          • Cyril Sneer

            Whilst you hate, and oh my don’t you hate.

            Have you got a job?

          • Todd Unctious

            Two jobs thanks.

    • Mr J

      I take it you are writing this with irony and/or tongue in your cheek?

    • Cyril Sneer

      Kill yourself.

      Posh people > you

  • Jackthesmilingblack

    Inter-class hostility: Another reason to hate it and leave it.
    Jack the Japan Alps Brit
    Currently wintering in warmer climes

    • EUSSR 4 All!

      In North Korea?!

  • Malcolm Stevas

    Melissa, the sub-head of this piece sums things up perfectly: the blinkered thought-tyranny of mindless Leftists, indeed – dontcha just loathe ’em? Imagine, if your stomach can stand it, the intellectual & cultural poverty of their nasty activist lives…
    But although I admire your reiteration of some fundamentals to do with political liberty and the freedom of the individual, I fear this piece will simply attract the standard response from the Leftist automatons: vicious slurs, remarkably dimwitted portrayals of hunting and its followers, and political illiberalism that might attract the respect of Kim Jong Il.

  • wudyermucuss

    I hate you bleeping barstewards because your leisure pursuit is chasing a terrified animal until it is exhausted and then tearing it to bits.

    I hate Jihad Jezza too.

    • Atlas

      Obviously never experienced the thrill of the chase then. Given what foxes do to their pray it always struck me as more of a case of administering just deserts.

      • wudyermucuss

        They’re animals,hunting for food.
        Pest control doesn’t,obviously,have to involve the hunt.
        I would get no thrill from chasing an exhausted and terrified animal before ripping it to pieces and blooding a few children.

        • John

          Foxes are thrill killers you idiot, oh my God ENGLISH PEOPLE DONT GET THE COUNTRYSIDE!! Back to Camden please, grownups are talking.

    • Cyril Sneer

      Isn’t life a b tch?

      • wudyermucuss

        No,it’s great.

  • Cyril Sneer

    Any fox hunting themed article seems to attract the nasty little bigots of the left, unable to contain their violent hatred of anything wealthy, posh speaking or remotely successful.

    This from the same team that told you you’re racist for wanting controlled immigration.

  • mikewaller

    Is Diddums upset cos she can’t rip little foxy-woxes to pieces any more? As it happens, I am pragmatically pro-hunting because foxes were actually better treated in hunting districts than elsewhere. Of course, this was not out of kindness, but because participants so needed their prey. However, to say that the whole opposition thing is class-driven is just so much crap. I am close to an anti- who is strongly supportive of the social status quo; it just that she cannot stand cruelty to animals. I have in the past asked Helena Kennedy, another high profile female who similarly loses all objectivity over this question, the following: What would her reaction be to a charismatic member of the working class who persuaded all his pals to dress in a standard kit and then use their dogs to hunt down and tear to pieces, say, feral cats? From the brilliant forensic mind of Lady Kennedy, nothing. Is Melissa any braver?

    • Malcolm Knott

      Look, do you actually know what a drag hunt is? Clue: nothing gets chased or torn to pieces. Some bloke on a quad bike lays a trail. It’s a bit like Tom Brown’s School Days or the Railway Children.

      • red2black

        Thanks for the clarification. I thought it meant these fox-hunting types were charging around dressed like women.

        • Malcolm Knott

          That comes later, at the Hunt Ball.

  • Builder boyfriend

    Would all the leftys,who don’t understand what Drag Hunting is,please contact your local Hunt secretary for an in depth explanation. Ps no foxes were killed by me or my Horse or dogs or friends whilst replying to this. I am a working class Builder,from a skint London family. So maybe stop supporting your friend Mr Corbyn,we real Londoners don’t like gutless leftys who support an Islamic state in the uk,which is far more barbaric than us English horsemen drag Hunting!!!!!. Ps when are you leftys going to stop Halal meat being cut unstunned in the uk?. I love Hunting and have met many 40% tax payers propping up the leftwing giro state. Miss kite,your ex Builder boyfriend,loves you for standing up for the not so posh or rich drag hunters xw. TALLY Hoo…….

  • cjcjc

    Riders are more than capable of churning up footpaths in my local woods despite clear no riding signs!